Hopeless case, hopeless case.

<https://www.google.com/search?aq=&r...>

But of course it's a staged photo. Quite possibly the majority of photos with actual chess players are staged.>

<In the U.S. Open (Rochester, Minn., 1957) the excellent playing room was in the I.B.M. establishment; but for the players there was one difficulty - the men's room was a very long distance from the playing area; and with all the clocks ticking, I saw a many player (including myself) in a trot between first base and home plate; but first prize in this race went without a doubt to the Spanish champion - a charming gentleman by the name of Bilbe - who exploded in a fifty yard dash, and ran the distance both ways like a thoroughbred horse - is chess worth it?>

<Two young friends of mine (chess lovers) recently married. Settled down to their housekeeping, they always had two games in progress at the same time - one, real slow, deep, would take days to finish; the other, a very fast one after dinner, so that the loser would have to wash the dishes. But sometimes this game ended in stalemate (they had an allergy for stalemates), so the dirty dishes suffered neglect from day to day.>

Welch later went on to form the John Birch Society.>

Thanks, I had no idea. Welch wasn't terrible.

John Birch is himself portrayed in Langdon Gilkey's remarkable <Shantung Compound>, as is (much more favorably) Eric Liddell, the Scotsman who wouldn't run on Sunday in <Chariots of Fire>. Liddell seems to have been one of the rare types who was better looking than the man who played him in the movie.

And what is the exact opening moves?

If 1.Nf3 d5 2.b4, then <CG>'s opening explorer gives this game as the debut:

Alekhine vs J Drewitt, 1923

None other than Alekhine is the originator.

On the other hand, if the opening is 1.b4 d5 here's that debut:

Schlechter vs Tarrasch, 1896

Schlechter.

And if 1.b4 d5 2.Nf3 then it's this game:

Alekhine vs J Drewitt, 1923

Oh wait, that's <CG> doing the transpose...

Here's the first 1.b4 d5 2.Nf3 game (had to go game-by-game, ugh!)

Opocensky vs E Richter, 1929

Opocensky.

* * * * *

The first game by Santasiere is this one:

Santasiere vs Kashdan, 1938

< The history of this curious opening must almost entirely revolve around my many years' experience with it. Alekhin[e] once opened a game with it. Tartakower at New York 1924 played 1. b4 vs. Maroczy and jocularly referred to it as the Orang-Outan Opening." The joke may be good, but the title is poor, for chess, like love, is serious. However 1. b4, which allows the immediate 1 . . .e5, is not really "my" opening, since I prefer to force Black [to] exert some effort to attain 1 . . .e5.>

Our <CG> intro seems a bit apocryphal, which might not be the first time.