<Domdaniel> Thank you for your feedback. Before I can comment on your message, I have to ask.

1. Have you read the whole story from the beginning in Book 1?

The reason I ask is that I think it's obvious you haven't read excerpts from the story like this:

<‘We damage the brain, but not to the point of total incapacity, before Infecting them. We make sure that the ascending reticular activating system in the thalamus, midbrain, and brainstem, upon which human consciousness is based, and at least some of the deep gray matter, which mediates some instinctive behavior, is unharmed. That turns them into unthinking but still functional idiots before Infection. The dark quanta only have damaged brain to work with. When they resurrect, they are still idiots, with enough consciousness for only one overriding instinctual need - to feed. The Defectives crave flesh that is genetically and histologically the same as theirs, which is human tissue. Since they lack brains, as reactionary behavior, they especially tend to go for brains, even if they can’t regenerate neurons. They particularly like the large cerebral hemispheres, of which the anterior part of, the frontal lobes, are a favorite target. Being wasteful feeders, they usually leave most of the smaller deep gray matter, midbrain and brainstem intact before going after another human. Since losing only the cerebral cortex and the white matter beneath it does not necessarily exclude you from becoming Maranhig, the invading dark quanta later on causes you to rise, with missing or damaged frontal lobes and probably other non-essential parts of the cerebral hemispheres. You become another idiot Defective Kindred. That’s basically how your zombies self-propagate. If the brain damage is less extensive or if the original human host is of low intelligence in the first place, then the Defective is classified by humans as ghouls. You saw Pana slay lots of ghouls in the Trench cave, probably brain damaged addicts originally. Ironically mindless zombies are more dangerous to humans than stupid ghouls.’

‘Why is that?’

‘Because with much less brains, zombies don’t give a s__t about anything except eating, and they aren’t conscious of pain. The poachers were riddling them with bullets, yet they kept on coming. They also don’t get killed if their hearts and carotids get destroyed, because their reduced brain mass doesn’t need to get the normal amount of blood other Kindred’s brains’ need. Even chopping off their heads doesn’t result in immediate death as their dark quanta make their spinal cord and peripheral nervous system more autonomous. If you notice, the headless bodies of Oisa’s victims were still jerking about. Like headless chickens and cockroaches, it will take minutes, sometimes days, for the bodies to stop moving about and die. Intact heads can also survive for hours and can still bite and infect just like the heads of decapitated serpents. Notice that Oisa did not just behead them; she brained them. When attacking rogue Kindred, she’s programmed to act in a manner that deprives them of the capacity to harm more humans, even if the humans in question are assh__e poachers.’>

(From <Chapter 41. Mammals and Zombies in the South Continent>)

This is already a heavy dose of the neurosciences for the layman. I have to keep such things toned down because the audience I have in mind will probably fall asleep if I write this way in a serious manner all throughout the novels. Thus even in the above passage, it looks as if the characters are speaking in an off-hand, or matter of fact, or even funny manner.

I am assuming you haven't read what kind of audience I had in mind that I am hoping will be influenced by the story (in case I decide to have it published, which is still an if). It's a specific set of people in my country. IMO they'll find a sci-fi story with little action and a lot of science boring.

Some of the themes in this story are quite relevant socially in my setting. So much so that I can't talk about them straightforwardly. I have to hide them under a bantering type of 'young adult' novel, or I'm sure I will be getting a lot of flak from some of my countrymen. I explained this before several scrolls up.

If you are a more serious sci-fi reader, you could take a look at the definitions of all the parts of the brain I enumerated above and see how their functions affect consciousness and behavior. I actually explained some of it outright in the above paragraphs, though it may sound like chitchat.

I *do*, however, know a little bit about brains, though I don't have your hands-on experience.

I also know a little about writing fiction, and in this case I do have hands-on experience.

There is always a tricky balancing act between entertainment and info-dumping. Yes, putting neuroscience in a conversation can be deadening, but there are other methods. Check out 'Echopraxia' by Peter Watts, for example.

Because I like doing so. Personal quirk.

<Yes, putting neuroscience in a conversation can be deadening>

I can't overdo it if I hope my target audience will read it. If you bother to read the whole thing, you'll find out that I write these scientific tropes during chitchat or during action packed scenes, so that the reader hopefully won't find it boring.

I hope you'll read the whole thing from the start. There are chapters which do delve into anatomy, physiology, and biology maybe quite heavily from a layman's perspective.

I get the impression you have just read the last chapters <Bloody Sunset 1 - 8>, and in a quite superficial manner. There's actually a deeper layer to it. Originally it was just one chapter in my rough notes; but then I decided to expand it in order to give the 'deeper' reader an idea how coup de etats usually happen in the third world. I base this chapter on actual attempted coups that I have seen happen in my country. Hit the important military bases, hit the capital, control the airforce, control armored units, control broadcast stations and communications, control the bridges and highways, neutralize the leaders and opposing ideologues etc..

You'll find out if you read the entire story that in many chapters, there are deeper layers involved, other than the superficial action packed and funny narration seen in most young adult novels. Government and state structures, political ideology, theology, secessionist/independence movements, political activism, fascism, totalitarianism, theocracies, religious extremism, the police state, child prostitution and arranged marriages, causes of poverty, extrajudicial killings, internal colonialism, multinational corporations and imperialism, ethnic cleansing, racism, cultural chauvinism, state brainwashing are actually being discussed extensively, if a reader bothers to scratch the covering paint.

Great! I meant the chapter to be somewhat funny. Same for many other chapters, especially the ones that carry deeper and disturbing or socially taboo thematic topics.

I talked to some of these soldiers where the front lines met. They had feelings and did not want to kill us. I've always wondered what would have happened if these soldiers were unfeeling robots. I believe they would have killed all the thousands of the opposition, and the coup would never have succeeded (and I personally would not be here writing you.)

I gave it some twists. In the story, the coup worked because unfeeling robot soldiers kill the thousands of people supportive of the government. In this case, they are pro-opposition. However, in a neighboring country, same robot soldiers are after one of the opposition groups too, with the same unfeeling remorselessness and proficiency.

Other elements are there- especially co-opting the important military bases and especially the airforce. In the actual coup I witnessed, one important military base in the capital region defected and the other was co-opted. On the third day, the main airforce base of the country defected. Right after that, the old leadership fled (probably realizing that without an airforce, they were lost), and the coup leaders took over.

Thus in the story, I had the robot soldiers co-opt the air force base first. It shortens the event. Kind of a short cut. I did not want to write a whole book on the coup story arc.

In the Philippines in 1986, the protestors were attempting to force the government in power to respect the results of a national election. I don't consider that to be a coup at all.

Marcos sent the Philippine Marines after them. It's a separate service branch of the Philippine military that was unquestionably loyal to Marcos, because he had shaped it to be a force made up of soldiers from his ethno-linguistic group from the northernmost Philippine provinces. He could not trust the rebelling Philippine Constabulary and the fence sitting Philippine Army at that point. (The Philippines, after years of martial law, at that time was heavily militarized in its culture and power structures. The Philippine military essentially was divided into the Philippine Army, Constabulary, Marines, Airforce, and Navy. The Navy had nothing much to do with the event.)

Civilians around Metro Manila, discontented by past election results, the economy, the rubber stamp legislative body, and life under Marcos in general came out to surround the revolting military faction around the Philippine Constabulary camp (Camp Crame), essentially shielding them from getting overrun by the Philippine Marines. Interestingly, it was located right across the highway from a Philippine Army camp (Camp Aguinaldo), which apparently stayed neutral and on the middle of the fence all throughout the event. Most of the protesters stayed in the highway between these two military camps.

At that time it meant a lot to me. I knew that without such military action, Marcos was going to stay in power by force until he died of natural causes, and then he would pass power to an anointed follower who would do the same. The entire country would be dependent on the dynasty that he had created forever, and on all its rigid idiosyncrasies, faults, socio-economic cronyism and nepotism, and political oppression and despotism.

Word spread that something was up a kilometer up the highway (EDSA). Me and my buddy rushed up. (We always had a buddy system in these demonstrations, so if something happened to you, your buddy could help out or tell others what happened.) We took a turn to the left into a side highway (Ortigas Avenue) and ended up in the essential nexus of the whole event.

From what I could see, the tanks seemed to have been ordered to clear us off. They moved forward until the protestors right in front of me started going down under the slanted tracks. At this point the tanks stopped, just in time to prevent people in front of me from getting crushed underneath them. Peculiarly, I was more worried about a machine gun on one of the tanks that I noticed was aimed right at me, and wondering all the time when it would fire. The Marine General stood on top of the tank haranguing us to get out of the way. Same thing happened again. In the end the tanks backed off into an unused lot by the side of the highway. I talked to at least two of the soldiers. I realized they did not really see us as an enemy, and they never have the guts to just mow us down in cold blood. If anything they were embarrassed and apologetic. Later too tired and psychologically drained for more action, me and my buddy went home, walking several kilometers by foot.

Next day, the main Philippine airbase defected, and after that Marcos fled the country.

Your story of the anti-Marcos 'revolution' is most interesting. <(Ortigas Avenue)> En passant, as it were, gives me a story title: Teargas Avenue.

In this case, you'll get the impression that it's a shallow young adult novel. From my viewpoint, that's good, because it's meant to be seen that way on superficial reading.

Normally I don't discuss much of Philippine politics in this site, but your suggestion is apt. Thanks for appreciating that real life story.

It's <avenue>. Maybe during Spanish times it was avenida but that was more than a hundred years ago. The Americans later on colonized us, and they used English.

If you are interested in streets demonstrations, I did a kind of parody of it in <Chapter 43. Kaluwasan Demonstrates>

Below is an excerpt:

<The whole entourage of Veteran avatars except for Captain Sugo and Bantay, left to guard the Shield, and the Wings left to interdict the darklings in the Boat’s Tower, came down with Elam - Pana the Salig Commando, Chef Luto the combat avatar, Majordomos Henloa, Tenloa, and Limpyoha, Engineers Bugsay, Boylo, Husay, and Koryen, the Succubus Tahum, the Incubus Tukib, and the Pilot Lupad.

The first unusual thing they noticed were a dozen people in front of the Dakobalud Resort Convention Center. Placards were upheld in their hands - A Little Bit of Freedom Please, Devolvement for Alogostan, Provinces Will be More Productive if Autonomous, More Autonomy Equals Less Capital Flight and More Prosperity, We Don’t Want to be Milking Cows of Central Taxation and National Corporations, Harmony in Diversity, Preserve Our Ethno-linguistic Identities, The Smaller the Society the More Participatory the Democracy, More Centralism Means Less Check and Balance and More Red Tape and Corruption, Centralized Power Invites Coups, Blueprint Solutions from Central Don’t Work, Central Decision Overload is Disastrous, Direct Participation Means Innovativeness and Rapid Decision and Action. They were also carrying bottled drinks, sandwiches, chicken barbecue on sticks, and puso- rice wrapped in banana leaves. Facing them were two dozen uniformed DATA agents that were milling about confusedly. The leader of the demonstrators was offering a fruit juice bottle and sandwich to one of the DATA agents with one hand while carrying a drooping placard with the other.

Elam stared in amazement. ‘What kind of wimpy demonstration is that? A Little Bit of Freedom Please? Giving sandwiches and drinks to the authorities?’

‘A demonstration?’ Henloa beside him queried. ‘I thought the word means some kind of exhibition.’

‘Yeah, what the heck are they doing?’ Tenloa added.

Pana ran up to the leader. ‘Sukola! Here let me give you a hand. I like your poster.’ She grabbed the placard from the student that announced ‘Twice the Freedom, Double the Wealth, Autonomy for the Provinces,’ and began to wave it around.

Sukola, Secretary of Kaluwasan gave bottled fruit juice and sandwich to the DATA agent in front of her; then turned around to hug Pana. ‘Hey, how are you? What are you doing here?’

‘Shore leave. But now that we are here, we might as well help you out with our cause.’ The other avatars greeted the Kaluwasan students, whom they already knew from the Prof’s wake.

‘You seem to be overloaded,’ Tukib observed. Most of the students were carrying two placards. The avatars followed Pana’s example and took up some of the placards; and began giving food and drinks to the bewildered DATA agents in front of them.

‘We can’t find Tuman,’ Sukola told Pana. ‘The members decided that I would be temporary Acting President. I decided to go ahead with this experiment that Tuman had already planned upon.’

Pana decided not to tell her about the fate of Kaluwasan’s missing President, whose assassinated corpse even then was decomposing under a log in a mangrove swamp.

‘How did you manage your logistics?’ Chef Luto, the combat avatar, queried.

‘Logistics? You mean our fare, food, and hotel expenses? We had a donation from two anonymous donors.’

Before Sukola could elaborate, Lili’s voice broke in the avatars’ Household channel. ‘Damn it! What’s going on?’