Great work, doc. You've created a world I would like to see more of, conveyed your cultural message without crossing the line into annoying proselytizing, and found your own style as a writer. :)

I just perused through major parts of it. There are many typos and errors.

The first chapters are a little "bumpier" than the later ones, as was to be expected; your writing style develops as you go. So the good news is that your style *did* develop... and the 'less good' news is that maybe you should try rewriting the first chapters, to bring them up to par with the rest of the story. ;)

Meanwhile, I found you an online link to a novel - one of my favorites - that I'm pretty sure you will find interesting too: 'Steppe' by Piers Anthony.

http://mreadz.com/read44931/p1

Looking forward to your critiques.

<Chapter 1. <<<<>>>>>

'Moving Pictures' is the title of a book in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, so I'd think twice about using it. It also makes it seem like Elam is a primitive, who wouldn't know more modern terms in this line, such as "(movie) reel". Although even something like 'Scenes of Memory' would work.

If you change the term, remember to update the last two paragraphs of the chapter to match. :)

Also, the first paragraph ('We the peoples...) should be in apostrophes.

<Elam was in a pier.>

On a pier?

<In front of him floated a giant cruise ship that sported giant outriggers.>

Try to avoid using the same adjective (giant) twice in the same sentence. :)

<The all saw him, and exclaimed>

I'm going to guess that was supposed to be 'The Professor saw him, and exclaimed', right? ;)

<You’ll be fine, Toto.>

If Toto means something in their language, you should mention that, otherwise Aya just called Elam a dog. :)

('Toto' is the name of Dorothy's dog in the very famous 'Wizard of Oz', so that will be the association for many readers.)

<She pulled out the tip of her bow from the darkling’s head.>

'Tip of bow' sounds strange, since bows are not usually sharp instruments. If hers is, that needs to be mentioned, even though you're trying to keep these fragments as brief as possible, otherwise the reader will be distracted by wondering if that's a mistake.

<Chapter 2. <<<<>>>>>

<'I suggested to Father that Elam rest in our House. We just rescued him from those darklings a few hours ago, but you know that when Father found out that he could walk and is in good health, except for his catatonia, he insisted we drag him along. He says that an Anachronista occurring in front of us just hours before an important meeting is portentous.' Aya was peering at Elam’s face.>

Who is Aya speaking to? The others were there, they don't need the information. Speaking to Elam himself would make sense, but then she should talk *to* him, not *about* him. ;)

<Beside Elam were the <Secretary, Medic, Warrior, and Scientist>>

Apparently, this is the information Elam has about the four Wings at this point. Then, we also heard Oisa and Aya's names from the Prof, but Alwana and Bodhi were never introduced - so you should introduce them before starting to use their names in the next paragraphs.

Also: if any of the names means anything, that should always be mentioned too.

<Alwana ahemed and declared>

I've gone through the whole thing again. Really lots of blunders; like I were playing a blitz game.

If you want to repost the final product anywhere in your country or on other websites with your name affixed to it as 'edited by Annie Kappel', I give my consent.

As you guessed, every non-English word in this story, including Toto, is found in one of the Visayan languages or in Spanish. Even all their names are words from the Visayan languages.

Of course you can post revised chapters here! And you'll also be welcome to repost the whole novel in order again, when you're done editing it.

Thanks for the permission to repost - I'm not really posting much anywhere else these days, but I certainly won't forget it. :)

‘We the peoples of the Confederated Polities abiding by the laws and purposes of the Multiverse, in pursuit of a participative democracy that provides basic goods and services to all its citizens, preserves its ethnolinguistic peoples' diversity, and that is ecologically sound, do ordain and promulgate this law of the land.’

‘Are you alright Elam?’ asked the Medic. Elam was listening to Professor Duro, Master of Dark Energy, of the Order of the Sun and Sky deliver a proposed preamble in the Governor’s Office to a bunch of immobile office employees, journalists, politicos, opportunists, police, spies, and ideologues. The large room was pictured in dirty white ceiling, dark floor carpet and wooden tables, shaded chairs and appliances. The Maestro was dressed in the colors of his Order, yellow button shirt and blue slacks. Surrounding Elam were the Medic, Warrior, Secretary, and Scientist all garbed in blue and yellow blouses and denim skirts. Elam noticed that he was dressed in blue cargo pants and a yellow polo shirt. The room set into reality, and he began to hear and see people talk and move. The Professor stopped. A Unitarianist had shouted ‘Why is he even allowed to talk; he’s a traitor to our Nation!’ A Unitemplist replied ‘Nation be damned but I agree he should be expelled from this Dialogue; he deals in demons!’ Sound of a gun firing.

Elam was in a nightmare war zone. The gray ground melded into the ash-filled sky which blurred into the sea in a torrential downpour. What seemed to be dark demons were fighting everywhere he looked, on the ground and in the air. Singing and dancing, Prof was outlined in lightning flashes on a high plateau, directing a battalion of blue and yellow fighters nearby. All were armed with iridescent weapons. Elam could see other fighters of various M.D.E. Orders, arrayed in the brilliant colors of the rainbow along with their Maestros. Vague human-like figures flew all around them. A group of darklings converged on the Prof, but before they could reach him, a blue and yellow whirlwind flashing bladed double sticks began cutting them into pieces. It was the Warrior. She wore a blazing halo of incandescent blue. The final dozen survivors simultaneously rushed the Warrior. She cut them down, but one 10 foot tall Demon King broke away and leaped for the Professor. Before it could reach him, the entire scene retracted into a swirling gray fog inside a rectangle. Elam closed his eyes. When he opened them the Demon King had grabbed the Professor’s head with its taloned claw.

Elam climbed into the fishing boat. A pretty baby-faced girl, who was standing nearby, grabbed his hand and helped him over. He switched to broad com mode and yelled at the top of his voice into his tabcom. ‘Captain Sugo, check the sonar!’ The waters around the fishing boat erupted with a dozen demonic forms. Half landed on the fishing boat itself, two right in front of Elam. One sprang on him, talons extended toward his throat. A slim golden form shot like a cannonball on his right and hit the demon. The demon missed him by a foot. The two figures fell down the stern’s floor. His rescuer was the young girl who had helped him climb on board. She rose up, covered in an armor of iridescent golden scales beneath her clothes. She pulled out the tip of her bow from the darkling’s head. Elam suddenly noticed that the tips of her bow were pointed like ice picks, and the sides of the bow’s limbs were sharply serrated like steak knives. As she rose she spun like a ballerina. Slashing her bow around, one of the limbs caught the other demon near Elam by the temple. Grayish brains and fetid ichor gushed out. Another demon that had landed on the roof of the boat’s cabin began to leap. The girl continuing her motion shot it with her bow. The arrow went through its skull. Elam went inside the boat’s cabin. The boat began to move in the water toward a shore graying with rain.

The Professor, the Warrior, the Scientist, and the Secretary stopped in front of a car by a building with a radio tower antenna at the top. Prof said ‘Their more radical sects could try to shut me down by shooting me, as what happened in the morning that you occurred.’ The car in front of them exploded.

Elam was in a hotel room. The troll began to grow bigger. His clothes burst out and hung in tatters across his chest and protruding belly. His skin turned green and began erupting pustules all over, oozing purulent ichor. His green-black tongue lolled out of a mouth full of sharp shark’s teeth. His ugly face grew even uglier. He was a seven foot tall creature of pure ugliness. He took a step forward.

Moving pictures kept on flashing in his mind’s eye, too fast to comprehend. Elam knew he had the ability to recall them all, and that all of them were real, potentially real, mergers and partitions of Universes, but also knew it would take time and effort for him to sort them out in a comprehensible manner. Best to rest and be healed.

‘Hey you’re awake! Are you alright Elam?’ Aya asked.

Elam was listening to Professor Duro, Master of Dark Energy, of the Order of the Sun and Sky deliver a proposed preamble in the Governor’s Office. This time, the people in the audience were not immobile gray statues, but actually moving and talking. Metal seats and tables were arranged in rows facing a makeshift stage and podium.

‘I suggested to Father that you rest first in our Balanghay House Boat, but when Father found out that you could walk and are in good health, he insisted that we drag you along, never mind that you seemed to be in a state of catatonia. He says that an Anachronista occurring in front of us just hours before an important meeting is portentous.’ Aya was peering at Elam’s face. ‘Yeah you’re awake alright.’

‘Oh, by the way, that’s our Father speaking in front, Professor Duro, MDE, Maestro of our Order of the Sun and Sky; I am Aya your medic and guardian; and these are Oisa, Bodhi, and Alwana.’

On the podium, the Maestro was dressed in the colors of his Order, yellow button shirt and blue slacks. Surrounding Elam were the Medic, Warrior, Secretary, and Scientist all garbed in yellow blouses and blue denim skirts. Elam noticed that he was dressed in blue cargo pants and a yellow polo shirt.

Elam was fully awake and aware by now. In spite of the gunshot he heard from a memory of the future, his first words, in sing-song Sayabi were ‘But he’s not your Father, you’re not even human!’

Oisa sitting in front of him turned back. ‘And how would you know that, child?’

‘Cool it Oisa. He has just woken up. And didn’t you hear him speak?’ Aya was talking excitedly.

Oisa cooled down. ‘Our native tongue. Weird!’

‘I am not a child. I am a King,’ Elam blurted out. ‘And how do you know my name?’

Oisa smiled softly. ‘You muttered it while we were dragging you along like a stunned fish. I don’t know what past lives you remember but you are a young teenager barely into puberty in this reality, not a King. You are the first human child I can recall to have directly saved. So I’ll forgive that remark you just made.’

Elam stared at Oisa. ‘I remember from somewhere that you aren’t human. What are you?’

‘Bodhi, let me do the lecturing this time!’ Alwana ahemed and began explaining. ‘Nearly 70% of this Universe is dark energy. There are living entities whose components are made of particulate dark energy fundamental quanta. Most occur naturally and spontaneously in the dark realms of the Multiverse. Some occur in this baryonic matter realm, but this is often deemed as unnatural. Modern humans usually call them darklings, but in the past were usually alluded to in supernatural terms such as angels and demons. The humans of this world Tera, specifically your Masters of Dark Energy, MDEs for short, have learned to structure dark energy into computer programs using their own life energies and the power of mindful consciousness, and the fabric of the universe which we call Tela as the hardware. So in a nutshell here we are. People more commonly call us avatars. As for Anachronistas like Father and yourself, that’s another lecture.’

‘Keep your voice down Alwana, Father is still speaking,’ Bodhi admonished. Elm noticed they were sitting near the back row, Aya and Alwana flanking him, Bodhi on a seat behind him, Oisa in front of him.

[They resemble the King’s Guard on protective duty he thought. Did the Prof order them to protect me? What for?]

A woman in the audience shouted ‘Why is he even allowed to talk; he’s a traitor to our Nation!’

Elam almost jumped up. ‘They’re going to kill him!

All four avatars froze. Then Oisa asked ‘How?’

‘I remember I heard a gun firing after that woman shouted. Before that a man will first shout- he deals in demons.’

Oisa, and her seat, disappeared. A flash of blue and gold and next second she was sitting on the same chair almost right in front of the podium. Prof paused and looked at her annoyed.

Someone evidently noticed the avatar’s sudden presence in front of the Prof, because this someone shouted ‘Nation be damned but I agree he should be expelled from this Dialogue; he deals in demons.’

After a preliminary interrogation, in which the police questioned them separately, they were detained in the Buhi City Central Police Station. There was a small debate among the officers if the avatars were to be placed in the female section. In the end the police Captain decided that since they were not human, they could all share the same isolation cell. The orders were to keep the Anachronistas and avatars isolated from other prisoners. Prof was an MDE, and so as a sign of respect they were provided with chairs and a small table in their stone prison cell.

They sat on the chairs around the table. Elam told them his story, which consisted solely of visions or memories of past and future events.

‘I’m sorry, iho.’ Prof spoke in fluent Sayabi in the exact same accent as his avatars. ‘Just occurred in this world and the first thing you experience is gunfire, prison, and four preternatural and nosy robots. Are you feeling a little, uh, disoriented? I will answer your questions if I can.’

Elam thought for a few seconds then began. ‘I was a king in my own country, but my kingdom doesn’t jive with what I know is the definition of kingdom in this world. I understand it to have been an autonomous country that was part of a larger Confederation, organized mainly on economic trade and non aggression. What kind of country is this? And why can’t I recall the details of my world?’

Prof gazed at him with a puzzled expression. Finally, ‘That’s a peculiar question from a boy. You go straight into asking what makes up human society’s structure.’

‘Anyway to clarify, you mean worlds Elam. It takes some time getting used to being an Anachronista, a being torn from the Tela of different realities. You and I are figments of multiple characters from different worlds merged into what we are now.’ The Prof looked at him closely. ‘Yet you speak the same language as I, a different dialect, but quite mutually intelligible, and the same kind of accent too. Somehow we belong to the same people. We are essentially countrymen.’

‘Us too,’ piped in Alwana.

‘How is it that I know stuff about this place? I can even speak some of the languages here. The police tried to interrogate me, and I answered like a native, although they said I sounded old fashioned.’

‘They interrogated you? But you’re just a child,’ Oisa protested.

Prof ignored her. ‘It’s a function of the reality shift that caused you to come into existence in this world, Elam. The language parts of the brain from one or more characters in this world were merged with yours. They probably lived a few generations ago, considering that you speak in an ‘old fashioned’ way. Most Anachronistas have the same experience as yours, including me. In a short while, you’ll adapt to and use the modern speech.’

‘What language is that? Or rather languages? I could also understand the international news in the radios here.’

‘Interesting, you mean Esperanto? So you can understand Sayabi, Alogostani, Esperanto?’ This time it was Aya speaking.

‘What’s Sayabi, Alogostani, Esperanto?’

‘OK, let’s take it one by one,’ Prof said. He glanced pointedly at the girls, as if warning them to keep quiet, then turned back to Elam.

‘We live in a distant eastern archipelagic province known in the past as Sayabi, almost half an ocean away from the Central Continental Mainland. Officially, the entirety of the former Sayabi archipelago is called Eastern Islands Region, and divided into Northern and Southern provinces, located in the temperate and tropical zones respectively. In our old tongue, also called Sayabi which we are now speaking, it means our own, or our domain, or our country, or our people, or our speech. The Sayabis as a people don’t exist anymore except for a few communities in isolated islands.’

‘The nation-state we are part of is called Alogostan. It consists of the bigger Alogostan Offshore Islands near the mainland and the easternmost parts of the Central Continent itself, Mainland Alogostan. Its primary people are the Alogostanis. Its native language is also called Alogostani, and forms the basis of nationhood. The national ideology is based on the one language one nation idea.’

‘Esperanto is the international lingua franca of science, commerce, and diplomacy. It’s the neutral language that the World Defense Force uses in this world where each nationalistic nation-state is committed to propagating its own national language, and a leveling tongue that has helped preserve minorities such as us. A Sayabi can legally use it in government offices.‘

Oisa opened her mouth to speak but Aya beat her to it. ‘Hey girls, quit interrupting,’ Aya interrupted. ‘Can’t you see you’re just confusing Elam?’

Prof rolled up his eyes. ‘Girls, freeze.’

All four avatars sat absolutely still, as though the Prof had turned the off button on them. [Maybe he had. They’re like manikins, the beauty queen’s dream bodies, faces that only angels and animes could have, light butter tinged skin, irises of lapis lazuli, mustard hair, uncanny sculptures of stiff silence engraved on the air. The Professor himself looked like exactly like a Tamil, an ancient enemy, but in the here and now they were of the same people.]

Elam thought for several seconds, then asked ’It’s illegal to speak certain languages in certain places? So that’s what killed off our people in Tera.’

Prof looked at his frowning face. ‘Dismayed, Elam?’

‘Huo, Sri Duro. I was King in my little country but we never imposed ourselves on anybody, and King seemed more of an honorary title. An elected Parliament did the essential governing. Moreover, no country was insane enough to intentionally kill off its own people’s ethnic identities.’

‘That must have been your Null World. It is said that many Anachronistas retain in their essence memories of a core Null World where their most fundamental beliefs were shaped.’

‘Was your Null world similar to mine?’

‘In my Null World, we pushed decentralist principles to the utmost degree possible. I can’t recall the details either but it seems to me that most of the nation-states had dissolved in all but name. Almost all governmental functions were being discharged by small societal local government units, which only shared functions that had to be centralized. One of these was the World Defense Force tasked with defending against darkling invasions. I worked with the WDF for most of my life.’

‘Is that your main purpose in Tera?’ Elam asked.

‘Combating darklings? In a sense yes, I still work for this world’s reiteration of the WDF. It’s where I derive my income and what will feed our stomachs, and pay for our expensive extracurricular activities, such as helping finance that Dialogue turned pandemonium in the Governor’s office.’

Elam spoke respectfully to the Professor using the Sayabi term for elder sibling. ‘No Manong Duro; what I meant was social engineering. Copying your Null World’s small societies into this one. In the process also saving your people and mine, or what’s left of them in Tera.’

Prof drew a deep breath. ‘Iho, that is quite an astute observation. I wonder what kind of a king you were in your Null World. You decide the answer for yourself. It is a question that I would also ask you.’

Prof looked at his wrist tablet computer. ‘I will try to give it to you as briefly as I can. The Alogostan Department of Anti-Terrorism Affairs representative will arrive soon in order to learn from our mouths, or rather mine, why I was attacked in a Dialogue meeting that I paid for. In case of myself, they always blame the victim. I think Bodhi should deliver this lecture as she can be more concise than I am. Speak Bodhi.’

Bodhi stirred and began in a flat lecture voice. She sounded so much like a recording that the hairs on Elam’s nape tingled. [Push on button and she speaks.]

‘A darkquake is a tear in the fabric of universes, also called Tela. In a darkquake realities can shift, diverge, and merge.’

‘Individual Anachronistas may occur singly and multiply, most occurrences being near the time frame of the tear in the Tela.’

‘A darkquake may also allow self aware darklings from the dark realms, or universes where dark energy rules predominate, to occur in matter oriented baryonic universes. Most of these darklings act like the traditional demons of religions, and may cause great destruction.’

‘Around 400 years ago there occurred a Great Darkquake, encompassing all of Tera, and probably much of this universe. Inside its boundaries, numerous simultaneous smaller darkquakes continuously occurred. Subsequently, realities shifted, diverged, and merged in an event known as the Great Dark Shift. This world was affected almost fatally.’

‘Consequently, please note that accurate historical accounts cease more than 400 hundred years ago. All we have before then are blurry partitions and fusions of different realities and potential possibilities.’

‘What we know for sure is that this world since then has been formally known as Tera in all the languages of the world. Tera was saved when Anachronistas from various Masters of Dark Energy Orders occurred. With their multi colored avatars, they fought off the darklings in the event known as the Great Dark War. The War reputedly ended shortly after an Arch, the most powerful of the Winged avatars, slew the leader of the darkling army. Smaller skirmishes and encounters still continued, but with the war essentially over, the MDEs trained volunteers, left books and literature on their art, and founded the modern Educational system.’

‘Even after defeating the darkling army, the Anachronistas found out that the Great Darkquake would not completely calm. However, the Maestros were able to narrow the tear in the Tela into a small area in the Southern continent. The Anachronista Maestros learned that they could not totally close the torn Tela because their massed presence was triggering small darkquakes all the time. Thus they eventually decided to de-occur by entering the Tear in the Tela along with their avatars. We do not know the fate of most of them.’

‘The World Defense Force was created during the latter half of the Great Darkling War. It was decided upon the Anachronista MDEs’ advice that a world government with only one institutional purpose be created. This purpose originally was solely defense against darklings. Desperate nations unanimously joined.’

‘Within the context of its main purpose, the World Defense Force discharges the following functions.’

‘One, supervise all academic and training courses that award the MDE degree in all schools in Tera.’

‘Two, establish and enforce rules on all MDE activities related to dark energy and darklings.’

‘Three, ascertain that all Artificial Incarnates, or DarkAIs, that MDEs create from dark quanta, also popularly known as avatars, are programmed never to harm a human being. DarkAIs that intentionally harm a human because of natural or accidental degradation of their program are treated as Natural Darkling invaders and all of Tera’s resources are used to destroy them. If their MDE makers are found to have intentionally caused them to go rogue, the MDEs are executed.’

‘Four, investigate non MDE humans who use dark energy, and punish them accordingly. Punishment for a non MDE intentionally causing a tear in the Tela or causing an unauthorized darkquake to occur is death. Any social institution that supports this highly dangerous endeavor may be legally destroyed; its human members imprisoned or terminated.’

‘The safest and most practical method by which this is done is to program Bugu DarkAIs to selectively attack nuclides of elements heavier than iron and nickel causing them to fission into non radioactive products in a controlled and predictable manner, thus releasing a fixed amount of mundane heat energy. In practice, the most convenient nuclide used worldwide is Lead 208.’

‘Machines and reactors generating heat, electricity, and hydrogen fuel are made according to this principle. Both private companies and National and Local Governments employing both MDEs and nuclear scientists mass produce and operate these machines and reactors.

‘The Bugus and are issued by the WDF and National Governments in the form of small coins with engraved denominations proportional to the energy each Bugu coin releases. The Bugu coin is the only currency used in Tera. In practice, National Governments also often issue promissory notes based on Bugu coins.’

‘The availability of cheap abundant limitless energy through the use of Bugu coins led to a spectacular industrial and agricultural revolution powered by electricity and a hydrogen economy a hundred years after the Anachronista Maestros’ De-occurrence, and a massive population explosion. There are now over 30 billion human beings in Tera, whose nutritional needs are taken care of by an agricultural complex whose fertilizers, irrigation system, and other support facilities are powered by DarkAI produced energy.‘

‘However even as the human population grew, humanity’s cultural diversity imploded. The Great Dark War transformed all pre Shift societies into large Nation-States, all originally based on a Unitarian, nationalistic, one nation one language ideology. The WDF encouraged this, as it was easier to control a few authoritarian states than numerous diverse countries. Later on most of the Nation-States progressed further into outright fascistic or theocratic polities.’

‘It is believed by some, especially by religious extremists, that the presence of Bugu currency all over Tera causes significantly damaging darkquakes that have occurred sporadically since the Great Dark Shift era, and many believe in a Prophesy. The Prophesy states that another Great Darkquake and Great Dark Shift will occur if Bugu currency usage continues.’

The Unitemple, Tera’s biggest religion, directly triggered World War 3 fifty years ago while trying to ban Bugu currency. Eventually the WDF ruled that individual nation-states may ban it at their discretion. Since the last World War theocratic nation-states have been increasing in numbers, influence and power, now constituting half of humanity. In these nations, the use of much of darkling technology is banned, including the public use of Bugu coins. Instead they use government issued promissory paper bills which one can theoretically exchange for Bugu coins of the same denomination. In secular nations, both Bugu coins and paper bills are used in public. The theocracies however continue to utilize DarkAI produced electricity and hydrogen fuel from government operated Reactor Plants.’

‘The rise of the modern theocratic nation-state has also led to chronic terrorism by extremist groups, almost all of which are covertly sponsored by one or more theocratic states. They routinely do terroristic acts not only in secular states, but also in theocratic states that belong to different religions and sects, or even in the same theocracy if they happen to disapprove of the ruling clerics.’

Elam interrupted Bodhi. ‘Was that a religious extremist that shot the Professor?’

‘Huo.’ It was Prof who answered affirmatively.

Elam’s next question was unexpected. ‘What do you think about the Prophesy, Manong Duro?’

The police Captain first treated them to lunch at the Police station’s small cafeteria. Elam found himself wolfing down a platter of rice and half a roasted chicken. Prof ate only sparingly. He was in a nearby table with the police Captain and two other officers. [Strange, Prof is speaking in Esperanto to the police, not Alogostani.] The 4 avatars did not eat at all, just drank some water. Stuffed full, Elam suddenly noticed something amiss.

[The Police Captain has blue hair.]

He looked around the other police officers in the cafeteria. [How could he have missed it?] No black hair like his and the Professor’s. Lots of yellow and red heads. Just as many blue and green heads.

‘Are they wearing wigs?’ he asked the avatars with whom he shared the same table, discretely pointing to two officers on the table to their left, who had green and blue hair.

‘No Toto, no one is wearing a wig,’ a puzzled Aya answered to his right, using one of the Sayabi terms for younger boy, often taken to mean a younger brother.

Afterward the police Captain led them to a minivan outside the police station the sides of which was marked Department of Anti-Terrorism Affairs. ‘This isn’t a police car.’ Elam observed. The police Captain turned to him. ‘I have noticed that you speak perfect Sayabi. My Grandparents were Sayabi, and I understand but can’t speak it. Especially inside the station where it’s considered a crime.’

There was no time for further chitchat as they entered the vehicle. There were escorts dressed in military uniforms inside. Elam sat by the window on the second row. Aya tried to sit beside him, but Alwana squeezed pass her and sat herself to Elam’s right.

In the small plaza in front of the police station there was large digital billboard screen that was displaying an ongoing lightweight boxing match between the World Champion, who happened to be a South Eastern Islands native, and a Challenger from Dalokistan. The plaza was crammed full of people cheering for the local boy. Most were wearing cheap T shirts, miscellaneous trousers and shorts, and flip flops.

They were just in time to see the Eastern Islands Champion floor the Challenger with a vicious left hook. The audience went wild stomping, screaming, thwacking each other on the back.

‘That’s what TV, the movies, and the public billboards show all the time. Sports heroes, sex scandals, romantic soap operas, rumors and intrigues, macho action stars, glamorous actresses and beauty queens. Games and circuses. It’s a National psychosis. There isn’t anything on the question why those people watching can only afford to wear T shirts and flip flops most of the time,’ Alwana explained.

The van took off silently. All around them, cars drove by quietly except for horns occasionally honking. ‘The cars are electric?’

‘Huo’ Alwana beside him affirmed. ‘Most vehicles are. They’re actually hybrid hydrogen fuel cell and battery cars. See those gas stations by the roadside? They pump in hydrogen gas into cars’ pressurized tanks. The hydrogen is produced in hybrid Darkling and Nuclear Reactor Plants. In Alogostan they are mostly privately owned by large Capitol Based Corporations and are in market competition with one another, but in theocratic and some fascist nations, they are government owned. The gas is transported to gas stations, industrial, chemical, agricultural complexes, and apartments and houses by special pipelines. In the Reactor Plants, nuclear scientists and MDEs control gas and electricity production. The Reactor Plants are essentially machines were Bugus selectively attack and fission Lead-208 in lead lumps the size of your fist, and so produce heat, electricity, and hydrogen fuel.’

The World Government, I mean the World Defense Force keeps the production of Bugus strictly under control. They’re made in mints where Maestros create millions of virtual digital Bugus in computers and animate and incarnate them into this reality. Both the WDF and any National Government can mint Bugu coins, but in case of the latter only under the approval of the WDF. Tera is a single currency, single energy world, with the currency and source of energy the same thing. It’s the primary means by which the WDF maintains control of the world economy, without having to directly interfere in international commerce. Even in Theocracies, which do not use Bugu currency in public, the WDF insists that they based their paper bills on the Bugus.’

‘This is a Bugu coin denominated 1 centavo, as you can see on the heads side. The tails side shows what Government minted the coin and the year of mintage. If you insert this into that slot, it should power this vehicle for example about 1 meter. 10 centavos, 10 meters. 1 peso 100 meters. Those are not the exact figures of course, but you get the idea. It’s pretty cool, right?’

Elam looked at her fascinated. ‘You know, when you talk like that, you sound like a normal girl; but the way you and the others sat totally still for all of Sri Duro’s little lecture- any human being would find that hard to do. And the way all of you moved so fast when that nut tried to shoot Sri Duro, I would say that’s impossible for girl or robot if I didn’t see it myself.’

‘You think I’m a kind of demon, like that nutcase thought? Is that why you never touch us?’

Elam realized that he had never touched any of the avatars on purpose. Even now he was unconsciously sidling away from Alwana.

‘I can be a real girl.’ Alwana announced. ‘Then you can be my boyfriend. I would like to try that. What do you say, pang-ga?

‘How?’ Elam stammered.

‘I can bite a girl, infect her with my dark quanta, and soon she’ll be me, with my memories and mannerisms.’ Aya bared her teeth, contorted her face, and pantomimed biting movements.

It was a good thing they were talking in Sayabi or the officers guarding them in the van’s back row would have freaked out. Elam found himself involuntarily drawing back and bunching up against the window.

‘Shut up Alwana, you’re scaring the s__t out of him,’ Aya to her right admonished. ‘If he goes catatonic again, I’ll kick your ass. You know all DarkAIs are programmed never to hurt humans. Father programmed us that way in our Null World, even if he can’t remember it. And I would never do such a thing even if I went rogue. And you know neither will you.’

Aya turned to Elam. ‘Alwana is talking about the Possessed, people whom darklings infect with their quanta. The ones that go bad, we hunt. Same with harmful Abominations, which are hybrids of darklings and humans.’

Alwana looked properly chagrined. Then she did a strange thing. She hooked her left arm on Elam’s right, clasped his right hand with her left, and lay her head on his shoulder. Elam’s fearful panic in an instant was replaced by a pleasant kind of nervousness, as though the pretty girl he had been staring at for too long in a high school party suddenly went up to him for a dance.

Alwana quickly released him. ‘I’m sorry, you looked so scared. Just wanted to cheer you up a bit.’ She smiled as the avatars always did.

I've tried to make the dialogues more natural-sounding, and made a few revisions, so as to make the setting of this Book 1 more compatible with Book 2, which I have started writing (although at this point the Book 2 sequel is mainly pieces of ideas in my scrap notebook.)

‘Look I think they’re bringing us back to our Balanghay,’ Bodhi announced.

The minivan was making its way into the crowded South Eastern Islands Buhi Capitol City Port. Bodhi was pointing to a colossal boat on the south side of the port across Buhi River’s mouth. It was a magnificent and beautiful cruise ship, colored like the dusk, peculiarly shaped. Engraved in yellow letters on its side was its name, Shield of the Household of the Order of the Sun and Sky. Both ends of the ship seemed to curve slightly upward. From his view, he could see a giant outrigger, bigger than some of the boats and ships in the port. A lifeboat shaped like a blue log rode on the posterior dorsal part of the outrigger’s hull. Five towers jutted out of the ship, one on each corner, plus a taller central tower.

‘No they are not. They’re bringing us to that large flying boat.’ Oisa called out from the front seat.

‘Auto mode.’ Prof spoke for the first time in the van. It was eerie. All four avatars instantly and totally froze, except for jerky robotic movements of their arms in order to balance themselves when the van made a turn toward the north side of the port.

They halted in front of the water plane. The soldiers guarding them had never said a word throughout the ride, and remained just as reticent, except for a green-haired lieutenant who politely said in Alogostani ‘Please follow me.’

Prof, Elam, and the girls got out and began walking toward the plane’s gangway along with the escorting lieutenant. ‘You are walking like ambulatory broomsticks. Act natural, but stay silent. If you have to speak do so in Esperanto. Normal mode.’ Prof turned to Elam. ‘I always use Esperanto when speaking to high government officials. It’s a form of protest over the cleansing of our people’s identity. It’s funny to see how irked these nationalistic proto fascists are, that I refuse to speak their language.’

They entered into a comfortable office inside the plane, decked in the middle with a table touch screen computer and some chairs. A man with wavy blue hair dressed in blue trousers and red button shirt rose from a chair. [So the minister happens to be an MDE colleague of the Prof.]

‘Please have a seat’. Prof looked a bit surprised. The Minister was speaking in Esperanto.

Prof bowed, hands clasped in front, palms and fingers apposed. [An asian greeting.] After they were seated, the two Maestros did a strange thing. Without a word, they supinated their forearms on the table. Both of them sported different tattoos about 10 centimeters in diameter. Elbows flexed, they brought their forearms together until their tattoos touched. The tattoos briefly glowed. A second later, they drew back their arms as though nothing had happened.

‘Uh, excuse me. What did you just do?’ Elam found himself asking.

The man glanced briefly at Elam as though wondering what a boy was doing there. ‘That’s how Masters of Dark Energy authenticate one another. The World Defense Force requires that two Maestros meeting personally for the first time do it, in order to expose fakes and charlatans. The stamp on our forearms is our Order Seal. A successful graduate of one of our training courses is branded with such a Seal from a Maestro by touching his wrist or forearm to the Maestro’s Seal. In most cases nothing happens. In a few a new Seal is burned by the Maestro’s Seal onto a student’s forearm, rather painfully for most. The Seal confers abilities to manipulate dark energy by the conscious mind. It’s composed of the same dark quanta that makes up darklings. If a student fails to receive or his body rejects a Seal, he would have to continue internship and try again the following year.’

The man proceeded to introductions.

[This isn’t going well.]

‘In fact, some of the DATA provincial personnel in South Eastern Islands filed a case against you for secessionist activity, recommending the usual death penalty, on the very morning that you nearly got assassinated.’

Elam blanched.

‘I am not answering anything Minister. Am I under trial here?’ Prof interrupted. The avatars remained silently behaved, but their wide open eyes had turned metallic cobalt blue.

‘Oh no Professor. In fact, I personally withdrew the secession case, and expunged it from all records.’

A few seconds of the face off passed by. Then Prof asked ‘What do you really want, Minister?’

Kusgan leaned back and smiled. ‘I want us to be friends. I will be honest with you. Alogostan has been having trouble with our south western neighbor Iladistan. Everyone knows this of course. As you probably know, during the end of WW3 their traditionally secular government was overthrown in a Unitemplist coup.’

‘You mean their fascistic dictatorial regime’.

Kusgan continued as if Prof had not interrupted.

‘Since then virtually the whole population has been converted, at least superficially, into Unitemplism under the barrel of the gun and after a million civil war deaths. The totalitarianism the clerics imposed was far worse than that in the previous regime, as you put it. Having stabilized the situation, approximately 30 years ago, the Iladistanis began to increasingly but covertly support terrorist groups in neighboring Nations. That is why that not a week passes by nowadays that you don’t hear in the news of some bombing or shooting or knifing done in the cause of averting their Prophesy. Their prime target has been Alogostan, in order for them to access the Great Eastern Ocean, where we are now by the way.’

‘To compound problems, our powerful northern mainland neighbor, Dalokistan, is obstruction all our attempts in the World Council of Nations to press charges of terrorism against Iladistan. As you also well know, the WCN and its primary law of freedom for the Temples was formed as part of the World Peace Treaty that ended WW 3, but secularists have always retained a small numerical superiority in its voting chambers. With the fall of Iladistan and two dozen other nations since the War, the theocracies’ voting power has been increasing but not to the extent of attaining a majority 50% plus 1 vote. Every time we try to press charges against Iladistan, Dalokistan and its subservient allies vote with the theocracies and do attain the 50% plus 1 vote. We can’t rely on The World Defense Force either. Its policy has always been officially neutral, and has traditionally acted only if darklings are involved. It even favors a few theocracies that have cults that tend to produce Maestros who believe it is their holy duty to slay darklings, and one of these is Iladistan.’

Kusgan leaned forward on the table with a pained expression on his face.

‘I don’t understand it, Professor. Dalokistan is a Presidential Representative Democracy like Alogostan. They have a Senate and Congress; a separate Judiciary. Yet they try to destroy us. They think to use the religious extremists against us in order to grab our northernmost provinces and gain ice free port access to the Great Eastern Ocean themselves.’

Kusog deliberately leaned back and crossed his legs.

‘The intelligence services of this Nation know that you dream of fulfilling a vision from your Null World Professor. We have enough evidence to convict you of secessionist activities. However, we know that after 40 years, you are still alone in this endeavor and so remain harmless. We also know that you don’t want the Eastern Islands Provinces to turn into theocracies. At least here in Alogostan we maintain a semblance of democratic voting.’

Kusog looked at Prof in the eyes.

Elam could see the Professor visibly relaxing.

[At least, this meeting is not a prelude to an execution.]

‘So how do we become friends, Minister?’

‘You can tell me more about yourselves. You yourself reported to the local World Defense Force Office in this City that an anomalous darkquake opened up a transient Tela tear through which this Anachronista,’ Kusgan nodded toward Elam, ‘occurred along with 13 darklings, one of which was a Dan 15 Adept. It occurred on the shore where your Household Boat is currently docked across the river mouth in the South Pier.’

Kusgan nodded toward to Oisa. ‘The Warrior leaped from your Household Boat’s central tower and cut them to pieces. The whole fight lasted a few seconds. You collected the bounty for them and deposited the check in your bank account on your way to the Governor’s Office.’

‘You would know.’ Prof said. ‘Everyone knows DATA has spies everywhere.’

Elam was frowning, trying to recall the event. Kusgan glanced at him. ‘You don’t know what these four avatars are… uh..’

‘My name is Elam. No your Honor, I just occurred here. I seem to have shown up with a pre-knowledge of a lot of stuff about this world but there are huge gaps in my memories.’

Kusgan shifted in his seat, turning to face Elam. ‘Do you have memories of these avatars in action?’

‘I once saw Oisa in a great battle. Sri Duro too. He was on the slope of some hill along with blue and yellow avatars. He must have been doing something important because the entire front of the darkling army went straight after him in arrow formation. Sri Duro seemed to be oblivious of what was happening and was continually chanting or singing, but Oisa met the darklings from the side, cut off the tip of the spear formation, and slaughtered them all with her double sticks that have blades on them.’

Kusgan was smiling. ‘You mean her doble-espada. That was the Battle of the Broken Spear young man. My Order, the Autumn Sea, is descended from the blue and reds to the right of Professor Duro in that battle. The Prof was engaging in the rare art of Battle Multi Locating. That is he was occurring as virtual clones all over the battlefield, directing and coordinating all movements of the Maestros’ army as one mind, which of course gave us the advantage. The darklings saw that and tried to take out his primary occurrence, which would have won them the battle and perhaps the entire Great Darkling War.’

‘The Warrior is legend. She broke the tip of the darkling spear formation. The Great Darkquake was happening during that battle and so the details of it are blurred in shifting realities, but you have just described its gist. Perhaps you can report on the battle for the historical societies. Professor Duro has submitted affidavits to the World Defense Force after he reoccurred 40 years ago that he can’t remember any of it because of the reality shifts of that era, and neither could the Warrior. But there were far too numerous MDE witnesses from that battle who are recorded to have attested to its fundamental reality.’

‘I remember!’ Every one turned to a suddenly excited and animated Oisa. ‘Father? May I speak?’

‘Go ahead Arch Wing.’ [Strange title; Prof must be using it because they were in the presence of a high Minister.]

‘I remember slicing up a lot of Darklings, and Elam was there. He was sitting on a crag of rock behind Father.’ Oisa suddenly looked extraordinarily dismayed.