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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Jun-11-22
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Dearborn, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2938--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've retired from serious play--not that I ever took playing chess all that seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any US Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to High Heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 18635 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jun-11-22 M Blau vs Keres, 1959 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Not a good recommendation for the DERLD. Out of 59 moves, White makes only three in Black's half of the board. And two of those conist of 3.Bb5 and 6.Bxc6.
 
   Jun-11-22 chessgames.com chessforum (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Er, it's back. Karpov vs Timman, 1988
 
   Jun-10-22 Orlo Milo Rolo
 
Phony Benoni: Marco!
 
   Jun-10-22 Lilienthal vs Bondarevsky, 1947
 
Phony Benoni: Another one for you King Hunters. Black's monarch travels fron g8 to b8, then takes the Great Circle Route back to h3 before calling it a day.
 
   Jun-10-22 GrahamClayton chessforum (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> I've posted a question for you at L T Magee vs J Holland, 1948
 
   Jun-10-22 L T Magee vs E L Holland, 1948 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <GrahamClayton> The source you cite, <Chess Review, May 1948, p. 24>, gives Black's name as <E Holland> "Chess Life" (June 5, 1948, p. 1) has a table of results giving <E L Holland>. That form also appears in USCF rating supplements for a player fro ...
 
   Jun-09-22 Biographer Bistro (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: SkinnVer Here Among the Fold?
 
   Jun-09-22 Flohr vs Bondarevsky, 1947 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Black's bishop makes me think of Godzilla emerging from the depths of the ocean to wreak havoc. However, in the end it's his Two Little Friends who steal the show. Well, maybe not so litt.
 
   Jun-06-22 W Ritson-Morry vs G T Crown, 1947
 
Phony Benoni: it was the last round. Rison-Morry was mired in last place. These things happen.
 
   Jun-06-22 W Adams vs M Kagan, 1947
 
Phony Benoni: Some more informztion. The game was published in <Chess Review>, March 1948, p. 23. Black's name is given as "M Kagan", and the location as "Massachusetts". There is no other game data, but I think we can now safely assume Black is <Milton Kagan>. Earlier in the ...
 
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May-17-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Definitely taking one for the team, I think. When he came on in the third inning, he was already KC's third pitcher of the night; their starter had a first-inning injury. And they wound up using seven pitchers anyway.

My athletic limit was as a pitcher in slow-pitch church league softball. Can't get much lower than that. I was OK as long as I had a brave third baseman and kept the ball inside.

One day I made the mistake of tossing the ball down the middle of the plate. The batter hit it up the middle of the infield, where it collided with the middle of my solar plexus. I managed to throw the guy out from my knees, showed everybody what I had for lunch, and lost my appetite for playing.

May-17-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: The ultimate in Taking One for the Team:

http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/...

May-17-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <My athletic limit was as a pitcher in slow-pitch church league softball. Can't get much lower than that.>

I was a decent slow pitch pitcher. Used my bowling technique to throw quite a curveball. I'm left handed and players would pull my curveball foul a lot. I could also throw a screwball if I turned my wrist over and used backspin.

As for low level athletics, I saw a woman at Kings Island last year wearing a t-shirt boasting that she was Something Something League Shuffleboard Champion. I bet <that> made her a real dude magnet.

May-17-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <OCF> I'm a left-hander too and used to face one lefty hitter, and always work the outside of the plate just to get under his skin, cos we didn't like each other.

Then there was the guy (this one a right-hander) who was no more than 5'8", but about as wide. Never gave him anything good and was usually much more successful against him than other pitchers.

There was one memorable at-bat, though, with his then girl friend, a co-worker of mine, watching.

Being as he was so strong, I usually liked to pitch him inside, but one pitch got left over the plate.

I'm here to tell you, that sucker travelled a long way! It may have started its descent about the same time it shattered a window beyond the left-field fence. Heard about this one from the girl friend for a while afterwards, lol.

Shuffleboard champ, was it? Yeah, I bet she's got 'em lined up!

May-17-11  Jim Bartle: Today Brian McCann of the Braves hit a pinch hit home run in the 9th to tie the game, then hit a game-winning homer in the 11th.

Any way to know how many players have hit pinch homers, then stayed in and hit another homer? It can't happen very often.

May-17-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <Jim> Bet that list is shorter than the one for perfect games, even with all those thrown out in the early 1990s.
May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <Forgetful Elvis: As for low level athletics, I saw a woman at Kings Island last year wearing a t-shirt boasting that she was Something Something League Shuffleboard Champion. >

I am losing my mind. <Nobody> would be impressed with a Shuffleboard champion. In fact, the shirt affirmed her as the Something Something League Croquet Champion.

May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: I recall a 5 inning perfect game stopped by rain, that was thrown out in the 90's. What a stupid decision.
May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  perfidious: <OCF> There was such a game on 21st April 1984 by David Palmer of Montreal Expos at St Louis in the second game of a doubleheader-you know, those things never scheduled any more: http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/....

Elias Sports Bureau has stated that this perfect game never happened, though, so you and I are obviously delusional.

As you said, bet the guys came running after that croquet champion! Surprised you survived being anywhere near the stampede.

May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: I can understand decommissioning no-hitters of less than nine innings. It does seem to cheapen a nine-inning perfect game by saying that a five-inning "perfect game" is its equivalent.

I have a little more sympathy for the pitcher from the visiting team who is unable to complete his no-hitter when the home team is ahead and doesn't need to bat in the ninth. But the no-hitter shouldn't be important in that situation.

It's also unfortunate when a no-hitter is lost after the ninth inning, but I think there's just too many ambiguities open otherwise. Why should allowing the first hit in the tenth be any different from allowing a hit in the first inning, then no others from innings 2-10?

May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <I can understand decommissioning no-hitters of less than nine innings. It does seem to cheapen a nine-inning perfect game by saying that a five-inning "perfect game" is its equivalent.>

He got everyone out that came to bat against him. Whadda ya want?

May-18-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: A news reporter was interviewing the Local Codger on the occasion of the old man's 100th birthday, and naturally asked about the secret of longetivity.

THe centenarian replied: "I never smoked. Never drank. Never chased after women. Always in bed by sundown and up by sunrise."

The reporter replied, "I had an uncle who did all that, but he only lived to be seventy. How do you explain that?"

"He didn't keep it up long enough!"

===

Yes, the decision to require at least nine innings for a no-hitter was as arbitrary as the one degrading Pluto to a dwarf planet, and was probably made with the same amount of passion and logic on all sides. In the end, a clear and objective criteria was set up. It's arguable, of course, but what isn't?

At least it's more scientifically based than MVP or Hall of Fame voting.

May-19-11  Jim Bartle: A while back I remarked about pitchers "flirting" with no-hitters. But when does the flirting start? Here's a headline at cnnsi.com:

"Gee flirts with no-hitter; Mets blank Nationals 1-0"

I clicked to see. A hit in the 8th? 9th?

No, it was the sixth. That's not flirting, that's barely saying hello.

May-19-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: On a related note, if Tiger Woods is within 15 strokes of the lead in any tournament, the headline is guaranteed to be "________ Leads, Tiger Lurks"
May-20-11  Jim Bartle: You've got that right, OCF.
May-20-11  benjinathan: Jose Bautista has been incredible this year. Not only is he tearing the cover off the ball, but he is running the bases with great determination and has become a real leader.
May-20-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: The thing about José Bautista is that he is hitting about 100 points abvoe his career average while continuing to homer at a Ruthian pace. He can expect the "Don't Let Him Beat You" treatment the rest of the year.

Tiger Woods seems completely lost. I guess his injury problems have something to do with it. but he seems to have lost his focus. Losing his father may have caused more problems than just losing a golf coach; his whole life now seems rudderless.

He's still got the magic name, but you have to wonder if he's still capable of contending, much less dominating.

May-20-11  playground player: <Jim Bartle> Thank you so much for opening that old wound--Maury Wills wins 1962 MVP instead of Willie Mays. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper-cut, too?
May-20-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  OhioChessFan: <Tiger Woods seems completely lost. I guess his injury problems have something to do with it. but he seems to have lost his focus. Losing his father may have caused more problems than just losing a golf coach; his whole life now seems rudderless.>

Lots going on there. For all the attention his driving gets, his putting is what wins tournaments for him. And that is the part of golf most sensitive to mental focus. And I might add that besides being the best player in the world for how long, he has always been the luckiest. I think in his best years there was a greater sepration in luck than talent between him and everyone else. That doesn't seem to be happening too much any more. And when he first came out, I told people his body was a ticking bomb. As much golf as he's played, with as much torque put into it, it's hardly surprising the body is breaking down.

May-20-11
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <OCF> I wondered if Woods' style put a lot of pressure on his body, thinking of all those sore-armed pitchers whose careers are prematurely ended.
May-20-11  Jim Bartle: I don't know why he's having injury problems, but I disagree about putting vs. driving.

It's extremely important to drive the ball in the fairway, and you're not going to get many birdie putts, and you will get lots of long par putts, if you're drives are off in the rough or the woods.

I believe if you let any player on the tour just place his ball in the fairway at 280-290 yards on every hole, he'd win most of the tournaments. It's a huge advantage. (And the tougher the course, the bigger the advantage.)

May-20-11  benjinathan: I think Tiger is done. He may win one more major (probably the masters) but I don't think he can physically play enough to be sharp. Plus is head is gone. I agree with you PB-too many violent swings.
May-20-11  Jim Bartle: I think the "head" part is the most important. At the moment he doesn't have that air that nobody can beat him.

He could get it back, of course, though I don't think the intimidation factor over the other players which helped him so much over the years is probably gone forever.

May-21-11  cormier: hi have a good day sir ... a friend want's to trade hockey card .... any suggestions would be welcome ..... tks G
May-22-11  Jim Bartle: Oops. I meant the intimidation factor is gone forever.
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