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< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 17 OF 86 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
| Jul-19-16 | | thegoodanarchist: yes, a very good pun |
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| Jul-19-16 | | thegoodanarchist: however I do like this one too:
H Knoll vs M Gratze, 2012 |
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Jul-20-16
 | | offramp: I'm surprised I missed that one. I'm a lone gunman man and that might be why I ignored it... It's a good one. But I'll probably vote for posoo because he is brilliant. |
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| Jul-20-16 | | thegoodanarchist: unfortunately, there can be only 1 winner and we have two excellent puns. Then there is the fact that we have 5 more months for people to think up other great puns. My vote choice for pun of the year will be a lot harder than my vote choice for president :) |
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Jul-21-16
| | offramp: Honuphrius is a concupiscent exservicemajor who makes dis- 21
honest propositions to all. He is considered to have committed, 22
invoking droit d'oreiller, simple infidelities with Felicia, a virgin, 23
and to be practising for unnatural coits with Eugenius and Jere- 24
mias, two or three philadelphians. Honophrius, Felicia, Eugenius 25
and Jeremias are consanguineous to the lowest degree. Anita 26
the wife of Honophrius, has been told by her tirewoman, For- 27
tissa, that Honuphrius has blasphemously confessed under volun- 28
tary chastisement that he has instructed his slave, Mauritius, to 29
urge Magravius, a commercial, emulous of Honuphrius, to solicit 30
the chastity of Anita. Anita is informed by some illegitimate 31
children of Fortissa with Mauritius (the supposition is Ware's) 32
that Gillia, the schismatical wife of Magravius, is visited clandes- 33
tinely by Barnabas, the advocate of Honuphrius, an immoral 34
person who has been corrupted by Jeremias. Gillia, (a cooler 35
blend, D'Alton insists) ex equo with Poppea, Arancita, Clara Marinuzza, Indra and Iodina, has been tenderly debauched 1
(in Halliday's view), by Honuphrius, and Magravius knows 2
from spies that Anita has formerly committed double sacrilege 3
with Michael, vulgo Cerularius, a perpetual curate, who wishes 4
to seduce Eugenius. Magravius threatens to have Anita molested 5
by Sulla, an orthodox savage (and leader of a band of twelve 6
mercenaries, the Sullivani), who desires to procure Felicia for 7
Gregorius, Leo, Vitellius and Macdugalius, four excavators, if 8
she will not yield to him and also deceive Honuphrius by ren- 9
dering conjugal duty when demanded. Anita who claims to have 10
discovered incestuous temptations from Jeremias and Eugenius 11
would yield to the lewdness of Honuphrius to appease the 12
savagery of Sulla and the mercernariness of the twelve Sullivani, 13
and (as Gilbert at first suggested), to save the virginity of 14
Felicia for Magravius when converted by Michael after the 15
death of Gillia, but she fears that, by allowing his marital rights 16
she may cause reprehensible conduct between Eugenius and 17
Jeremias. Michael, who has formerly debauched Anita, dispen- 18
ses her from yielding to Honuphrius who pretends publicly to 19
possess his conjunct in thirtynine several manners (turpiter! 20
affirm ex cathedris Gerontes Cambronses) for carnal hygiene 21
whenever he has rendered himself impotent to consummate by 22
subdolence. Anita is disturbed but Michael comminates that 23
he will reserve her case tomorrow for the ordinary Guglielmus 24
even if she should practise a pious fraud during affrication 25
which, from experience, she knows (according to Wadding), 26
to be leading to nullity. Fortissa, however, is encouraged by 27
Gregorius, Leo, Viteilius, and Magdugalius, reunitedly, to warn 28
Anita by describing the strong chastisements of Honuphrius 29
and the depravities (turpissimas!) of Canicula, the deceased wife 30
of Mauritius, with Sulla, the simoniac, who is abnegand and 31
repents. Has he hegemony and shall she submit. |
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| Jul-21-16 | | thegoodanarchist: You are truly blessed! |
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Jul-22-16
| | offramp: This is the version I am thinking of posting at chessgames.com chessforum (kibitz #25508): Marcus is a concupiscent ex-service-major who makes dishonest propositions to all. He is considered to have committed, invoking droit d'oreiller, simple infidelities with Josephus, a virgin, and to be practising for unnatural coits with Eugenius and Jeremias, two Brazilians. Marcus, Josephus, Eugenius and Jeremias are consanguineous to the lowest degree. Anita the wife of Marcus, has been told by her tire-woman, Jessica, that Marcus has blasphemously confessed under voluntary chastisement that he has instructed his slave, Mauritius, to urge Caesar, a commercial, emulous of Marcus, to solicit the chastity of Anita. Anita is informed by some illegitimate children of Jessica with Mauritius (the supposition is Ware's) that Gillia, the schismatical wife of Caesar, is visited clandestinely by Barnabas, the advocate of Marcus, an immoral person who has been corrupted by Jeremias. |
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Jul-23-16
| | offramp: Marcus is a concupiscent ex-service-major who makes dishonest propositions to all. He is considered to have committed, invoking droit d'auteur, simple infidelities with Kevin, a virgin, and to be practising for unnatural intercourse with Trevor and Neil, two Brazilians. Marcus, Josephus, Trevor and Neil are consanguineous to the lowest degree. Johanna, the wife of Marcus, has been told by her tire-woman, Jessica, that Marcus has blasphemously confessed under voluntary chastisement that he has instructed his slave, Trevor, to urge Caesar, a commercial, emulous of Marcus, to solicit the chastity of Johanna. Johanna is informed by some illegitimate children of Jessica with Trevor (the supposition is David's) that Aila, the schismatical wife of Caesar, is visited clandestinely by Robertus, the advocate of Marcus, an immoral person who has been corrupted by Neil.😉 |
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| Jul-23-16 | | thegoodanarchist: <offramp> at play, in chess: "His movements are prompt, astonishingly accurate, and the result of close and diligent combination." -The London Star Herald |
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Jul-25-16
| | offramp: I like playing the Sicilian. White players often chicken out (as I used to do). Any line not on a tightrope is good for Black! [Event "Rated game"]
[Site "https://lichess.org/et2HcaSK"]
[Date "2016.07.25"]
[White "aidynnur"]
[Black "offramp"]
[Result "0-1"]
[WhiteElo "1494"]
[BlackElo "1639"]
[PlyCount "24"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[TimeControl "300+5"]
[ECO "B33"]
[Opening "Sicilian Defense: Open"]
[Termination "Normal"]
[Annotator "lichess.org"]
1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. d4 cxd4 4. Nxd4 Nf6 ♗33 Sicilian Defense: Open 5. Nxc6 bxc6 6. Bg5 Rb8 7. b3 d5 8. e5 Ne4 9. f4 Qa5+ 10. Nd2 e6 11. h4 Bc5 12. h5 Bf2+ White resigns 0-1 |
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Jul-29-16
| | offramp: The bride LOL has been stripped bare by her bachelors LOOOOOL!! |
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| Jul-29-16 | | Robed.Bishop: <offramp> The beautiful people. Now that is funny. My first thought was drama queens. |
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Jul-30-16
| | offramp: [Event "Rated game"]
[Site "https://lichess.org/W7Hb8ZDA"]
[Date "2016.07.30"]
[White "musis1985"]
[Black "offramp"]
[Result "1/2-1/2"]
[WhiteElo "1584"]
[BlackElo "1666"]
[PlyCount "135"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[TimeControl "360+3"]
[ECO "B12"]
[Opening "Caro-Kann Defense: Advance Variation, Short Variation"]
[Termination "Normal"]
[Annotator "lichess.org"]
1. e4 c6 2. d4 d5 3. e5 Bf5 4. Nf3 ♗12 Caro-♔ann Defense: Advance Variation, Short Variation e6 5. Bd3 Bg6 6. O-O c5 7. c3 Nc6 8. Bg5 Be7 9. Be3 Qc7 10. Re1 O-O-O 11. dxc5 f6 12. exf6 Nxf6 13. Qd2 Ng4 14. Bf4 Qa5 15. b4 Nxb4 16. cxb4 Qa4 17. Rxe6 Qd7 18. Nd4 Bh4 19. g3 Bf6 20. Bb5 Qf7 21. Nc3 Bxd4 22. Qxd4 Qxe6 23. Be2 Rhe8 24. h3 Qf6 25. Bxg4+ Bf5 26. Qxf6 gxf6 27. Bxf5+ Rd7 28. Bxd7+ Kxd7 29. Nxd5 Kc6 30. Nxf6 Re2 31. Nxh7 Kb5 32. Ng5 Kxb4 33. a3+ Kxc5 34. Be3+ Kc6 35. Bxa7 b5 36. Rc1+ Kb7 37. Be3 Ra2 38. Rc3 Ra1+ 39. Kg2 Rd1 40. Rb3 Kc6 41. Ne4 Kd5 42. Ng5 Kc4 43. Rb1 Rd3 44. Rc1+ Kd5 45. Nf3 Rxa3 46. Rd1+ Kc4 47. h4 b4 48. h5 Ra6 49. g4 b3 50. Rb1 Kd3 51. Bg5 Kc2 52. Rg1 b2 53. h6 b1=Q 54. Rxb1 Kxb1 55. Kg3 Ra8 56. Kh4 Kc2 57. Ne5 Kc3 58. f4 Kd4 59. Kh5 Ke4 60. h7 Kd5 61. Kh6 Ke6 62. Ng6 Kf7 63. h8=Q Rxh8+ 64. Nxh8+ Ke6 65. f5+ Kd7 66. f6 Ke8 67. f7+ Kf8 68. Kg6 Stalemate😁 1/2-1/2 |
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Aug-01-16
| | offramp: <Robed.Bishop: <offramp> The beautiful people. Now that is funny. My first thought was drama queens> What I liked about Beautiful People was that it was totally non-insulting and that the phrase was John Lennon's! Lol LOL! |
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Aug-01-16
| | offramp: In December, when the Caribbean world turned to glass, he would take the closed carriage on a climb along the cornices of crags until he came to the house perched on top of the reefs, and he would spend the afternoon playing dominoes with the former dictators of other nations of the continent, the dethroned fathers of other countries to whom he had granted asylum over the course of many years and who were now growing old in the shadow of his mercy, dreaming in chairs on the terrace about the chimerical vessel of their second chance, talking to themselves, dying dead in the rest home he had built for them on the balcony of the sea after having received all of them as if each were the only one, for they all appeared at dawn in the dress uniform they had put on inside out over their pajamas, with chests of money they had pilfered from the public treasury and suitcases with boxes of decorations, newspaper clippings pasted into old ledgers, and photograph albums they would show him at the first audience, as if they were credentials, saying look, General, that’s me when I was a lieutenant, this was the day I was inaugurated, this was the sixteenth anniversary of my taking power, here, look, General, but he would give them asylum without paying any more attention to them or inspecting credentials, because the only document of identity for an overthrown president should be his death certificate, he would say, and with the same disdain he would listen to the self-deluding little speech of I accept for this short time your noble hospitality while the justice of the people brings the usurper to account, the eternal formula of puerile solemnity which a while later he would hear from the usurper, and then from the usurper’s usurper, as if the @#$%*!&ed fools didn’t know that in this business of men if you fall, you fall, and he put all of them up for a few months in the Presidential Palace, made them play dominoes until he had fleeced them down to their last cent, and then he took them by the arm over to the window looking out onto the sea, he helped them grieve over this stinking life that only goes in one direction, he consoled them with the illusion that they would go over there, look, he said, over there to that big house that looks like an ocean liner aground on the top of the reefs, where they would have some lodgings with good light and good food, and plenty of time to forget along with other companions of misfortune, and with a terrace overlooking the sea, where he liked to sit on December afternoons not so much for the pleasure of playing dominoes with that bunch of boobs but to enjoy the base good fortune of not being one of them, to look at himself in the instructive mirror of their misery while he wallowed in the great slough of felicity, dreaming alone. |
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| Aug-02-16 | | WinKing: Coming in three days(August 5) Sinquefield Cup 2016!!! ♘Sinquefield Cup 2016♘ Grand Chess Tour ♗Sinquefield Cup 2016♗ This tournament will run from Aug. 5th thru Aug. 14th 2016. (9 Rounds) Participants include Anand, Aronian, Caruana, Ding Liren, Giri,
Nakamura, So, **Svidler**, Topalov & Vachier-Lagrave. **Svidler replaced Kramnik who withdrew**
*****
*****
<<> Sinquefield Cup 2016! <>> < 3 Prediction Contests: (Win virtual medals - Gold, Silver & Bronze) > User: lostemperor - Predict the order the players will finish. Run & hosted by <lostemperor>. (3 categories to medal in) User: Golden Executive -
Predict the result 1-0, 1/2, or 0-1. Run & hosted by <Golden Executive>.
(3 categories to medal in)
This year will be the 10th Anniversary for this contest!
(from 2007 to 2016 - 10 years running)
User: OhioChessFan - Predict
the result 1-0, 1/2, or 0-1 & the number of moves. (4 categories to medal
in). This contest is run by <chessmoron> & hosted by <OhioChessFan>. ***<lostemperor> & <Golden Executive> have confirmed they will be open
for business for this contest. Still awaiting word from <chessmoron>.*** *****
*****
Also don't forget about <chessgames> ChessBookie game for this event.
She can't wait to take some or all of your chessbucks. ;) ChessBookie Game
Don't miss out on the fun for this Super Event!!! |
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Aug-03-16
| | offramp: He promoted and was annihilated!
[Event "Rated game"]
[Site "https://lichess.org/K9z5t19w"]
[Date "2016.08.03"]
[White "conan66"]
[Black "offramp"]
[Result "0-1"]
[WhiteElo "1532"]
[BlackElo "1672"]
[PlyCount "100"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[TimeControl "300+5"]
[ECO "A02"]
[Opening "Bird Opening"]
[Termination "Normal"]
[Annotator "lichess.org"]
1. f4 A02 ♗ird Opening Nc6 2. Nf3 d6 3. Ng5 e5 4. Nxf7 Kxf7 5. e4 Nf6 6. fxe5 Nxe5 7. d4 Neg4 8. Bc4+ Kg6 9. O-O d5 10. Bd3 dxe4 11. Bxe4+ Nxe4 12. Qd3 Bf5 13. Rxf5 Kxf5 14. Qf3+ Kg6 15. Qxg4+ Ng5 16. h4 h5 17. Qxg5+ Qxg5 18. Bxg5 Bd6 19. Nd2 Rhf8 20. Re1 Rae8 21. Be3 Bf4 22. Nf1 Kf5 23. g4+ hxg4 24. Kf2 Bxe3+ 25. Nxe3+ Kf4 26. Ng2+ Kf5 27. Ne3+ Ke4+ 28. Ke2 Kxd4 29. c3+ Kc5 30. b4+ Kc6 31. Kd2 Rf2+ 32. Kd3 Rd8+ 33. Kc4 Rxa2 34. b5+ Kb6 35. Nd5+ Rxd5 36. Kxd5 Kxb5 37. Rb1+ Ka6 38. c4 Rh2 39. Kc5 b6+ 40. Kc6 Ra2 41. Kxc7 Ra4 42. Rc1 g3 43. c5 g2 44. cxb6 Rxh4 45. bxa7 Rh8 46. Ra1+ Kb5 47. Kb7 g5 48. Rg1 Rh7+ 49. Kb8 Kb6 50. a8=Q Rh8# White is checkmated 0-1 |
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Aug-04-16
| | offramp: Another hilarious game!!
[Event "Rated game"]
[Site "https://lichess.org/iiB1UzbW"]
[Date "2016.08.04"]
[White "offramp"]
[Black "ne0bi0"]
[Result "1/2-1/2"]
[WhiteElo "1676"]
[BlackElo "1621"]
[PlyCount "114"]
[Variant "Standard"]
[TimeControl "360+4"]
[ECO "B01"]
[Opening "Scandinavian Defense: Mieses-Kotroc Variation"]
[Termination "Normal"]
[Annotator "lichess.org"]
1. e4 d5 2. exd5 Qxd5 ♗01 Scandinavian Defense: Mieses-♔otroc Variation 3. Nc3 Qe6+ 4. Qe2 Nc6 5. Nf3 Nb4 6. Nd4 Qg6 7. d3 Bd7 8. Bd2 O-O-O 9. Qf3 e5 10. Nb3 Nxc2+ 11. Kd1 Bg4 12. Qxg4+ Qxg4+ 13. Kxc2 Bb4 14. h3 Qg6 15. g4 Bxc3 16. bxc3 e4 17. Nc5 exd3+ 18. Bxd3 Qf6 19. Be3 Ne7 20. Rab1 b6 21. Ba6+ Kb8 22. a4 Nd5 23. Ne4 Nxe3+ 24. Kc1 Qc6 25. Re1 Qxe4 26. Rxe3 Qh1+ 27. Kc2 Qg2 28. a5 Qxf2+ 29. Re2 Qxe2+ 30. Bxe2 Rhe8 31. Bc4 Re3 32. axb6 cxb6 33. Bxf7 Rxh3 34. Be6 Re3 35. Rh1 h6 36. Rf1 Rxe6 37. g5 hxg5 38. Rg1 Re2+ 39. Kb3 Rd5 40. Rf1 a5 41. Rf8+ Kc7 42. Rf7+ Rd7 43. Rf5 g4 44. Rg5 Re4 45. c4 Rd3+ 46. Kc2 Rd7 47. c5 b5 48. c6 Kxc6 49. Rg6+ Kc5 50. Kc3 Rc4+ 51. Kb3 Rd3+ 52. Kb2 a4 53. Rxg7 Rb3+ 54. Ka2 Rc2+ 55. Ka1 g3 56. Rc7+ Kb4 57. Rc4+ Kxc4 Stalemate 1/2-1/2 |
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Aug-05-16
 | | chessgames.com: By the way, offramp, I just wanted to say that I was delighted to read your comment <It's Pat is one of my favourite films.> over at Kasparov vs N McDonald, 1986. People who haven't seen the film probably thought you were joking, but we both know how truly masterful it is. I mostly abhor the SNL skit (and SNL in general) but the movie was so much beyond what you'd think is possible to extract from such a stupid premise. And looking past the hilarity it actually makes a brilliant statement regarding how silly people are when it comes to the topics of sex and gender. Two thumbs up. |
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Aug-07-16
| | offramp: <chessgames.com: By the way, offramp, I just wanted to say that I was delighted to read your comment <It's Pat is one of my favourite films.>> Yes, a hugely and unfairly maligned film. It is very very hard to see now. It is never on the telly! I'm a great believer in brilliant, wild Farrelly-style comedies rather than, say, Annie Hall! Of course Julia Sweeney is a wonderful woman, as well! Best wishes, Alan. |
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| Aug-10-16 | | thegoodanarchist: I never saw it. I'm not one of the "glitterati " (people that glitter) |
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Aug-17-16
| | offramp: Can anyone help? I want to start a photo collection on Flickr called <GREAT CHESS PLAYERS WITH CRAPPY CHESS SETS >. |
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Aug-17-16
 | | saffuna: No, but I could send you any number of photos of a lousy chess player (me) playing with great chess sets. |
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| Aug-17-16 | | parisattack: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jjgksVeNn... |
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Aug-17-16
| | offramp: <parisattack: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jjgksVeNn... WOW. That really made me laugh! It is Karpov and Spassky looking at - at - some kind of big board with ... I suppose it is ... <shopping??> Thanks for that! |
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< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 17 OF 86 ·
Later Kibitzing> |
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Kibitzing
