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Phony Benoni
Member since Feb-10-06 · Last seen Nov-23-14
Greetings, O Seeker After Knowledge! You have arrived in Detroit, Michigan (whether you like it or not), and are reading words of wisdom from a player rated 2950--plus or minus 1000 points.

However, I've more or less retired from serious play--not that I ever took chess really seriously. You only have to look at my games to see that. These days I pursue the simple pleasures of finding games that are bizarre or just plain funny. I'd rather enjoy a game than analyze it.

For the record, my name is David Moody. This probably means nothing to you unless you're a longtime player from Michigan, though it's possible that if you attended any U.S. Opens from 1975-1999 we might have crossed paths. Lucky you.

If you know me at all, you'll realize that most of my remarks are meant to be humorous. I do this deliberately, so that if my analysis stinks to high heaven I can always say that I was just joking.

As you can undoubtedly tell from my sparkling wit, I'm a librarian in my spare time. Even worse, I'm a cataloger, which means I keep log books for cattle. Also, I'm not one of those extroverts who sit at the Reference Desk and help you with research. Instead, I spend all day staring at a computer screen updating and maintaining information in the library's catalog. The general public thinks Reference Librarians are dull. Reference Librarians think Catalogers are dull.

My greatest achievement in chess, other than tricking you into reading this, was probably mating with king, bishop and knight against king in a tournament game. I have to admit that this happened after an adjournment, and that I booked up like crazy before resuming. By the way, the fact I have had adjourned games shows you I've been around too long.

My funniest moment occurred when I finally got a chance to pull off a smothered mate in actual play. You know, 1.Nf7+ Kg8 2.Nh6+ Kh8 3.Qg8+ Rxg8 4.Nf7#. When I played the climactic queen check my opponent looked at the board in shocked disbelief and said, "But that's not mate! I can take the queen!"

Finally, I must confess that I once played a positional move, back around 1982. I'll try not to let that happen again.

>> Click here to see Phony Benoni's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member

   Phony Benoni has kibitzed 14528 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Nov-21-14 Phony Benoni chessforum (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: <WannaBe> Obviously, you get what you pay for. A little inside information: this may be a Bills "home" game, but the Detroit fans will probably be rooting, if at all, for the Jets. When the Bills beat the Lions earlier this year, former Lions coach Jim Schwarz (now ...
 
   Nov-20-14 L H Wight vs R Scrivener, 1926
 
Phony Benoni: According to the "Chicago Daily News" 24 August 1926, the game actually conclude <9...Bc5+ 10.Nd4 Bxd4+> 0-1. White can save his queen with 11.Kf3, but after 11...Qf6+ Black's attack is overwhelming. 9...Bc5+ isn't that bad a move. Maybe it doesn't win the queen ...
 
   Nov-18-14 J Grommer vs R T Black, 1913
 
Phony Benoni: Score error reported: Black's 15th move was <15...f6>.
 
   Nov-18-14 S Kun vs G Merenyi, 1997 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: Zugmate!
 
   Nov-17-14 Duras vs Capablanca, 1913
 
Phony Benoni: <wwall> It appears that <68...Rxe3> is a mistake in our game score, and that <68...Kxe3> was actually played. Sources: <Brooklyn Daily Eagle>, July 31, 1913 <New York Sun>, August 3, 1913 <American Chess Bulletin>, September 1913, p.196.
 
   Nov-17-14 P Haba vs B Kokes, 2003 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: American commercial jingle: "Have a Coke and a Smile" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD6... Just about every player who faces the Philidor is hit by the Opera Box Bug. It never happens, since Black knows the tune as well. But there are plenty of other traps available.
 
   Nov-17-14 Csom vs G Gaertner, 1994 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: "I must be in the back row!" If Black gets stubborn with <26.Qxe8+ Ng8 27.Qxg8+ Kxg8 28.Rd8# does the trick.
 
   Nov-16-14 J W Collins vs R Weinstein, 1960
 
Phony Benoni: After <20.b4>: [DIAGRAM] Apparently, White's h-pawn was the Designated Driver.
 
   Nov-15-14 D Moody vs S Bender, 1977 (replies)
 
Phony Benoni: This game illustrates one reason I grew to dislike correspondence chess. I ruined several days worrying if he would take the queen.
 
   Nov-15-14 L Blonarovych vs K Smith, 1960
 
Phony Benoni: 17.Bh3 does win the exchange, but White seems reluctant to take it. Those two bishops are just so lovely! Besides, the light squares around the king might become weak, though it's hard to see how. Eventually Black issues an ultimatum, and White takes the rook. The players then ...
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Let's play two!

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 32 OF 631 ·  Later Kibitzing>
Jul-19-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Harvestman: I vote for #3, because it made me laugh the most.

On the subject of name dropping, I once lost a game to James T Sherwin, who in turn lost to Robert James Fischer, so....

...I would probably have lost to Fischer as well.

Jul-19-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Harvestman: At the risk of being competitive, here's what I consider to be my finest blunder:

Let's set the scene. I've just won quite a large local competition, and I'm on a 13 game unbeaten streak of +9 =4 (my best ever). I'm in the form of my life. In this game I'm black, against a stronger player, and I'm two pawns up after 21 moves. Fritz 6.0 rates the position as about 1.63.

Black to play:


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Here I first wrote down my intended move 21...Qa4 (writing moves down first wasn't illegal at the time), and then, after 20 minutes of deep thought, I played...

21... Qxa2 (resigns).

This is known as the old 'playing move 4 of the calculated variation without playing moves 1-3 first'. Most of my 20 minutes of thinking were spent in working out whether my queen could be trapped and won on a2. I concluded, after intensive consideration, that it was safe, and in my relief, just played it, having become conscious of getting behind on the clock.

Don't ask for the variation I was thinking of. I've no idea.

I lost six straight games after this.

Aug-03-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <Harvestman> Didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. I was just waiting for other responses, and it got to be a habit after a while.

I agreed that #3 was a clear winner for that group. Surely that draw was more painful for White than any loss.

I've had experiences similar to yours, but not quite as sad. Isn't it remarkable how chess has a way of knocking us back to reality every time we think we're getting somewhere?

Aug-03-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: But back to more enjoyable things. Here are the nominees from 1986, including one which is certainly one of the worst moves I have ever seen.

<#1: BLACK TO PLAY>


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Already a pawn up, Black could win more material with 1...Bd6! 2.Kh4 h6. Instead, the game finished with <1...Rxb2?? 2.Bxb2>.

<#2: WHITE TO PLAY>


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White played 1.Rd8#. Normally, this would be a very good move. unfortunately, White happened to be in check. Worse yet, he couldn't just take on f4 with two extra pawns--having touched his rook he was forced to play 1.Rd2, in effect losing a rook because he checkmated his oppoent.

<#3: WHITE TO PLAY>


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White's a pawn down, but 1.Qd7 would give good chances to hold. <1.Qc4?? Qd6#> gave none.

<4: WHITE TO PLAY>


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White spotted a neat combination and went for it: <1.fxe4 fxe4 2.Bxe4 Bxe4 3.Qxb6 Qa8> (of course, taking the queen allows back rank mate) <4.Rd1> and Black resigned. I wonder when the players noticed that 3...Qxb6 would have been check.

<#5: WHITE TO PLAY>


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Not a very good example of the Worst Move theme, as White may be losing anyway. But <1.Qh4?? Bg3> was clearly inspired by the Muse of Blunder.

<#6: WHITE TO PLAY>


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All in the family: <1.Qg5?? Qxd2+ 2.Kxd2 Ne4+>, followed by 3...Nxg5 which added insult to injury by forking the rooks as well.

Aug-04-08  arsen387: hello <PB>. Number 3 from 1985 was really hilarious. Laughed at it for a while, though I can imagine whites' situation after that blunder. I once drew smth. like that against the computer being a Q and 2 pawns up and after that the whole day was searching someone to kick in face. I think it's twice more bitter when you blunder so in a tournament game.

From 1986 I liked N3 and N4, especially N4, as I sometimes find myself in such situations:)

Thanks for posting that blunders. I hope you'll continue to do that:)

Aug-04-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Harvestman: Hi <PB>. No, I didn't seriously think I was being ignored. I just didn't know whether prolonged silences were normal for you, and was starting to assume you were on holiday or something.

Thanks for the new blunders. This selection is tougher, at least to me, although No.2 is particularly artistic, and like <arsen387> No.4 is the sort of thing that would happen to me.

Aug-04-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  whiteshark: <PB> Spur-of-the-moment decisions - I'm not known for such a thing; I'm not even sure that it exists. But the tragedy of <#2> (losing while mating) get's my vote stante pede.
Aug-04-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <All> Thanks for the feedback. I'll give it another couple of days before revealing my choice.
Aug-06-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: For the last group, I picked #2 as not just the clear-cut favorite, but an all-time classic. I also enjoyed the artistry of #3.

The 1987 nominees will be coming soon. Stay tuned.

Aug-06-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  TheAlchemist: <PB> Hi! I also liked your selections and am looking forward to your next installments.
Aug-06-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Oh, what the heck. I've got some free time tonight, so here's the next group:

SET 3, 1987

<#1: WHITE TO PLAY>


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Endgame principle #1: Keep your pawn position solid. <1.f3?? h4#>.

<#2: BLACK TO PLAY>


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Endgame principle #2: Keep your king active. <1...Ke6?? 2.Re7#>.

<#3: BLACK TO PLAY>


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I'll bet you're already screaming, "Oh no! Not that!" Yup. <1...Rxb2?? 2.0-0-0+>.

<#4: WHITE TO PLAY>


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After suffering for 25 moves in this ending, White figured honor had been satisfied and resigned--just as <1...Re6+!> would have forced stalemate.

<#5: WHITE TO PLAY>


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A chain reaction blunder, the gift that keeps on giving: <1.Nd4??> lost a pawn after <1...Qxf2+>, a bishop after <2.Kh1 Qxf1+>, a queen after <3.Bg1> (3.Qg1 Nf2#) <3...Nf2+>, and a rook after <4.Kh2 Nxg4+> and <5...Nxe3>.

<#6: WHITE TO PLAY>


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A bit like <Braverman's> story given above. White pondered for a long time on whether to play 1.Be2 or 1.Bg2 to stop the threat of 1...Nxf3+. Finally. he reached out, grabbed the bishop--and played <1.Bh3??>. Oops.

Aug-06-08  mmmsplay10: P Lomako vs R Ovetchkin, 2006

nice post, even though your bio puts you as a comedian, that was thoughtful

<Phony Benoni: Either both players had a sense of humor, or else they were time pressure addicts just wanting to get a couple of moves closer to the time control. So why didn't they repeat the sequence again? That brings up an interesting question. Suppose the game had continued 3.Nf3 Nf6 4.Ng1 Ng8. Could White now claim a draw by repetition of position? After all, the same position existed before White's first move, his third move, and his fifth move, each time with White to play. Or does the initial position, before the game is started, not count for the purposes of repetition claims?>

Aug-06-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <mmmsplay10> Thanks. I wish I could be as thoughtful in my other posts. In the thrid set of Worst moves series I just posted, I referred to <Harvestman> as <Braverman>. Obviously I needed to repeat the name several times more...
Aug-07-08  arsen387: hello <Phony>. I must say that this collections excels the previous ones. Every blunder is a masterpiece here :) But number 1 is the best amongst the best, I think:)
Aug-07-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  TheAlchemist: <Phony Benoni> I think no.5 is the best hands down. As Tim Krabbe said, "anyone can hang a piece, but a good blunder requires thought". I would also add to that walking into mate, sometimes. All the pieces were placed on exactly the right squares and Nd4, as you said, started a chain reaction that led to an immediate downfall. Perfect.
Aug-07-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: Like <The Alchemist<, I also chose #5 from the 1987 set. By the way, it was pointed out to me by our old friend, <Resignation Trap>, though it wasn't one of his games. However, I have to admit a soft spot for #6. Who among us has not had the experience of thinking so hard that we forgot what we were thinking about?

I'll hold off on putting up the 1988 group for a few days, since seeing too many of these in a short time is probably not good for your health, chessic or otherwise. Besides, while looking these up in the old magazines, I found a number of positions which show that, on occasion, we Michiganders do know how to play chess, even if our names aren't Ben Finegold or Tony Palmer. Or maybe I'm just easily amused.

This is from Warren Raftshol v. Stan Jarosz, Michigan Class A Championship, with <WHITE TO PLAY>


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You might enjoy doing a quick assessment, then figuring out if your first impression was right.

Aug-08-08  Ben2000: Hi <Phony Benoni>,
This is my funniest and most stupid game ever with a good friend of mine. We are playing chess with each other for about 12 years since we were 13. And we played this game just after a long good game which I lost.

[Date "2006.10.19"]
[Round "27"]
[White "Me"]
[Black "My friend"]
[Result "1-0"]
[ECO "B45"]

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. d4 e6 4. Nc3 cxd4 5. Nxd4 Nxd4 <he hates my knights> 6. Qxd4 Ne7 7. Bf4 Nc6 8. Qd2 Bb4 9. Bd6 Qf6

<So far not too bad.
Just guess my next move.>


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10. Nb5?
<I donít remember why I played Nb5 but Iím sure I was seeing some winning lines!!!>

Bxd2+ 11. Kxd2 Qxf2+ 12. Kd1 Nd4 13. Nc7+ Kd8 14. Bd3 Qxg2 15. Rf1

<And now the funnier part begins: Guess black next move:>


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15..Ne2?

16. Bxe2 Qxe4 17. Bd3 Qg4+ 18. Ke1

<And now:>


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18..f5?

<Still black can easily win.>

19.Nxa8

<Now the funniest part begins:>

19..Re8 20. Nc7
<Funny moves still to come>


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20..Qd4? 21.Nxe8 Qxb2 22. Rd1

<And now:>
22..Qxa2?
23. Nxg7 Qb2 24. Rg1 Qf6 25. Nxf5 Qf7 26. Rg7 1-0

Priceless look on his face!Totally PRICELESS!
Believe me we are not this bad!

Aug-08-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: <Ben2000> That was bad. That was so bad I don't want to even think about it. Of course, I had a bad day at the office, so nothing seems particularly funny to me right now.

Actually, the position wasn't a slam dunk win for Black with that White bishop on d6; I've lost better positions a queen up. I suppose in the second diagram Black should have played 15...Nxc2.

Aug-09-08  Ben2000: That game more than being a chess game is a example of mind being blocked, maybe being tired and being pride of winning easily, next time when my friend got a piece up he began to play better...

One thing I like about chess very much is that you must control such feelings to win.

Aug-12-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Harvestman: <PB> From the 1987 selection, I've managed to perpetrate the blunder in No.1 myself, and got away with it (my opponent exchanged pawns, removing any future possibility of the mate). At the time, there were 14 other players stood around the board, all of whom saw me leave the mate in 1, and my opponent miss it. Gasps of horror all round.

Oh, and <Braverman> sounds quite impressive somehow. Sort of an action hero.

Ok, maybe not really me. I'll stick to Harvestman.

Aug-12-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Phony Benoni: OK, I've been watching the Olympics too much. Need a break from all that excellence.

WORST MOVE OF THE YEAR: SET 4, 1988

<#1: WHITE TO PLAY>


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Seeing that 1.Kf6 Kd7! 2.Kxe5 Ke7 was an easy draw, White tried outflanking with <1.Ke8??>. After <1...Kc5!> his king couldn't get back in time.

<#2: BLACK TO PLAY>


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1...Rxd8+ wins easily, but Black got greedy: <1...Nxd8?? 2.e8Q+!> and White went on to win.

<#3: WHITE TO PLAY>


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White wins with 1.Qb3+ Ke2 (1...Kg4 2.Qxh3+ Kf4 3.Be3+! is similar) 2.Qe3+! Qxe3 3.Bxe3 followed by 4.e6 and one of the pawns promotes. Instead, <1.a8Q?> threw away the win, and <1...Qf4+ 2.Kh1? Kg3+!> got him mated. (2.Kg1 Qxg5+ 3.Kh1 may leave some drawing chances.)

<#4: BLACK TO PLAY>


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Missing 1...Qf1#, Black played <1...Qxc3??> and offered a draw! White was so relieved that he immediately accepted the draw--and then saw 2.Qf8#!

<#5: BLACK TO PLAY>


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Black saw that 1...Qxe5 would allow the pin 2.Re3, so he prepared the capture with <1...0-0??>.

<#6: BLACK TO PLAY>


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No, Black didn't take the pawn on b2 and get his queen trapped. There's nothing funny in that. He grabbed the bishop with <1...Qb4+ 2.c3 Qxc4?? 3.b3> and got his queen trapped.

Aug-12-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  WannaBe: Oh, #4, without a doubt!
Aug-13-08  ravel5184: #5 without a doubt!
Aug-13-08  arsen387: yeah #4 is cool
Aug-13-08
Premium Chessgames Member
  Harvestman: #4. I think I must have been playing both sides of that one.
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