As usual, Vic tells a funny story about thumping Fischer. He was playing poker the night before the round. Fischer was in the room but studying chess (naturally). Vic told him that he intended to play the Latvian Gambit. Bobby didn't believe him. The next day it was read them and weep 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 f5! After this the game was effectively over.

<Tim>! JINX I was reading that story from my book last night around 20 seconds after posting. Have you met the Latvian gambit?

I recently faced it twice at chess club. The first time, I almost explained to my opponent "Er you can't do that eh?" He was a 13 year old kid and he responded "wut". I had no idea what to do so I just took the f-pawn automatically without thinking about it. A scant 5 movies later and I was busted. I looked up the basics on the gambit and when he did it to me again the next week I knew just enough to get out of the opening without losing.

This <Elmars Zemgalis> biography is full of anecdotes and strange stories, and <John Donaldson> has dug up many scores and tales of games that aren't in our database or any others either I'll bet you. I wish I had two copies so I could mail you one. He should have contacted you first to gather more PAC WEST MAN ON THE STREET CHESS ANECDOTES before publishing though. I have just started scratching the surface on the SHOCKING TRUTH about Pacwest BALTIC CHEESE, and so far I just put this much into my collection which is here in case you secretly wanted to look at it:

Game Collection: Elmars Zemgalis Games

Here is a teenage Elmars drawing <Paul Keres> in a simul:

<Riga 1944> (May) Paul Keres clock simultaneous exhibition. <Zemgailis> scored +0-0=1.

[Event "Paul Keres exhibition"]
[Site "Riga LAT"]
[Date "1944.05.??"]
[Round "?"]
[Result "1/2-1/2"]
[White "Keres, Paul"]
[Black "Zemgalis, Elmars"]
[EventDate "1944.05.??"]
[Source "Donaldson, 'Elmars Zemgalis' pp.7-9"]

1. d4 d5 2. c4 dxc4 3. Nf3 Nf6 4. e3 e6 5. Bxc4 c5 6. Nc3 a6 7. O-O b5 8. Bb3 Bb7 9. Qe2 Nbd7 10. Rd1 Qc7 11. e4 cxd4 12. Nxd4 Bc5 13. Be3 O-O 14. Rac1 Rfd8 15. Bg5 Ne5 16. Nf3 Rxd1+ 17. Rxd1 Nfg4 18. Nd4 Qb6 19. h3 Bxd4 20. hxg4 Rc8 21. Bf4 Ng6 22. Bg3 Bxc3 23. bxc3 Rxc3 24. Rd6 Rc6 25. Rd7 Nf8 26. Rd1 a5 27. Rb1 Qc5 28. Ba4 bxa4 29. Rxb7 Qc1+ 30. Qf1 Qd2 31. Rc7 Rxc7 32. Bxc7 Qxa2 33. Qb5 Qb3 34. Qe8 Qd1+ 35. Kh2 Qd7 36. Qb8 f5 37. Bd6 Qf7 38. gxf5 exf5 39. e5 Qh5+ 40. Kg1 Qd1+ 41. Kh2 Qh5+ 42. Kg1 Qd1+ 43. Kh2 Qh5+ 1/2-1/2

<Tim> and it's not just restricted to <Puyallup> either. Latvian master Walter Jursevskis ended up in Vancouver and proceeded to become BC BOSS for the next 20 years. We have one of his games from the notorious bloodshed of the bitterly contested "Washington State" v "British Columbia" grudge match of '49 in which BC narrowly came out on top, thanks largely to Walt. Although in this tussle he comes up short against powerful "home grown joint" Charles Joachim

<Tim> Did you ever play any of these guys, or go to see some of the tournaments/matches/ simuls?

Ok I have to ask. Given the chance, who would you rather chat with at a windup and cheese party:

I guess that makes me a value added chat buddy.

<Tim> On a rare serious note, it was me who actually coined the term "value added" whilst working as an advertising executive on the the ill-fated "By the Wharf Scented Tampons" campaign.

So I can tell you with some considerable authority that "value added" means an extra store of knowledge about sasquatch activity in the Puyallup region.

This science audiovisual aid will help explain:

<Paint My Dragon>

Well I just this minute got clear of spoilers for the first two Match weeks.

Good news for your MANC I should think. Young, fit lads running about and <Popular 80s Video Game POGGER> looking happy for a change except for missing a penalty.

For me the highlight of week 2's match was <Martin Tyler> commenting on <Larry Evans'> dive:

"Well it's not just foreigners who do that these days"

LOLOLOL He would have been fired from ESPN on the spot for being "politically incorrect." Luckily <Martin Tyler> is a national institution and certainly more popular than the Queen. The old bag.

Other highlights were <I have a Rashford> and <Won-Nutsacka>. I'd be tempted to call Nutsacka man of the match on game days 1 and 2. So much energy, confidence on the ball and above all service. With better reception from the goal scorers you would have seen the fruits of Nutsacka. Hopefully the lads up front will do better with his service later on.

Anyways I'm bullish on MANC this year just wait and see.

SPURS not so much. Must they play every single game like a bunch of sick nuns for 85 minutes before realizing they are actually on the pitch and then trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat. They do pull the rabbit with astonishing regularly, but at the cost of giving the punters weekly heart attacks.

I do like this expensive new midfielder <Tangay N'bumblebee> he could turn out to be any kind of player once he gets his "Spurs legs". His magnificent strike from well outside the box in Week One was goal of the season for me, so far at least.

I don't like this nonsense about <Hans Christian Andersen>. You open the purse strings for that lad and keep him happy end of. I have zero confidence in "Mr Levy" and his cheapo attitude.

Waiting for <Delicatessen Ali> and <Son Bok-choi> to come back.

<Harry's> been sleeping and <Poncho> needs to sort out what he's going to do with his front 4 configuration. Also will <Lake Ponchontrain> stop benching <Lucas Miracle>. How many times does <Mouray Eel> have to put out a fire before <Pocket Chess> realizes he should start every single game.

Maddening.

I was sorry to see <Kieran Acid Tripper> go.

Finally, <Frank Lampard> is a HANDSOME MAN believe me.

Hang on isn't MANC the wrong abbreviation for UNITED?

I can't remember the cap-lock abbreviation you were using before.

Either way I only recognize 1 (one) footy club from Manchester City, and that is MANCHESTER UNITED. I do not formally recognize the "other guys". Except for when they booted week 2 match. That was thrilling from a Spurs perspective. I do have to say though that <Peppy Gardiola> really is a mensch. Him I like. He has a wonderful personality, gregarious and smiling in both victory and defeat.

<The new footy season> Ah well, some of the shine got knocked off it when my Fantasy Football team got off to a disastrous start, but I shouldn’t complain – it’s always a delight to have it back.

Yeah, what a challenge <Frankie Lampost> has got at Chelski. When <Effin Hazard> has waved goodbye and it dawns on you that his replacement is <Tammy Wynette>, then you’re guaranteed a few sleepless nights.

<Peppy Gladioli> is indeed a star manager - quite right. All other clubs should be envious and he's a great ambassador for the game.

Yeah, Spurs’ restraint in the transfer market and handling of the Eriksen situation was either bold or negligent. And what about those pre-season comments from <Pocahontas>? He’s not allowed any say on transfers, and disputes his 'manager' title, when he’s actually just a coach? I’m slightly surprised he stayed on after that outburst. Not that I blame him for saying it mind.

<Gay Bumblebee>, as you say, looks like a fine acquisition, although he may be out injured for a while it seems. Now that <Dino de Laurentiis> has finally been let go, the worry must be that there’s not much cover if <Kane and Abel> and <Son of a Gun> don’t stay ‘fit and firing’. Fortunately, the Tottenham midfield usually wades in with a few goals, and yes, <Moira> might yet prove to be a lethal secret weapon. For now though, he will have to remain a riddle shrouded in a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and drizzled with conundrum (Blackadder probably said it more eloquently!).

But mostly, you just have to hope that a motivated Pocahontas wins out over the disillusioned one.

It was something of a relief that ManU addressed their defensive frailties with the purchase of <Magwitch> (great expectations for sure) and <Wan-Moussaka>. That was the good news. Up front however, very little is resolved. There are still the eternal ‘good prospects’ and a forlorn hope that they will one day gel. Truth is, Martial, Lingard and Rashford aren’t consistent enough and are a bit too similar, while Greenwood, James and Gomes are still wet behind the ears, despite some promising signs in the opener. I think I’m perhaps more pessimistic than you, because it feels like Ole has been pushed that way out of necessity rather than choice, after the loss of Lukaku and Herrera (and bearing in mind that Mata and Matic are the wrong side of 30). For balance, we may lack some players in the 25-28 age range, but on the plus side … I guess I’m happy to be rid of Lukaku, and with any luck Sanchez will move to Italy, where the mafia can chop him up and stuff him into Tortellini for all I care.

Speaking of Italy, I was surprised that neither Spurs nor ManU gave a green light to <Paulo Dybala>. Both clubs were interested and it was only his high wage demands that scuppered his move to ManU. Yet someone who generates such excitement would surely put extra bums on seats and sell a boatload of shirts, thereby recouping the extra wages? Maybe it was the idea of another potential primadonna in the dressing room that Ole found off-putting.

Skills-wise, Dybala resembles a Suarez (minus the urge to bite), or maybe a young Carlos Tevez. Comfortable with spectacular long range efforts, tap ins, penalties, free-kicks. I’m struggling to see the downside:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4X...

Finally, I just re-read your post and shouldn’t end this rant without showing some appreciation of your ‘fruit of Nutsacka’ quip. A plum line ripe for the picking, and it instantly reminded me of Forbidden Fruit by The Blow Monkeys … take it away Dr. Robert …

<Paint My Dragon>

I remember <Dybbik> all too well. It was him who sunk Spurs two years ago in the OOFA playoff against <Joo-vay>.

On "Match of the Day 2" <German Genius> was saying there was still a chance <Dybbik> may come to Spurs on the next transfer window. He's cautiously bullish about the new signings as they are now.

<Toby "Frodo" McGuire> was one of the main reasons <Lesta> won the World Cup and already pundits are saying he may be the best back in the league. He looks a fine fit for MANUal labor in the first two weeks at any rate.

I'm a fan of <Tammy Wynette> and not just because she's just the second woman to make the Premiere League, joining <Larissa Gay>. <Larissa's> no slouch either, I can tell you. <Tammy> has tons of upside, barring some strange psychological tics I believe she will not only shine in Blighty but also on the world stage.

Sometimes I also worry about <POCO's> mental condition. They were a fine band in the 1960s, but I didn't like the expression on their face when the camera cut to them directly after <Moira Hendley> scored off the bench against City. <POCO> had a scowl. Possibly they were thinking that <Moira> made them look bad (again) for not starting him.

<Give me Moura pitch time> is in the last stages of his career and a guy with that kind of quality around the box you play him as much as he wants to play. A kindergarten kid or a trained monkey could see that, so let's hope <Pancho Villa> can see it as well.

<The honorable member from Ohio> It most certainly, does, interest me. However, I fear this "history,.com," may not, be about chess? This, however, may not be a sticking, point.

They are lucky to have you. I'll stand by my opinion of some years now- throughout all my "academic" career (cough) and all my "chess" career (cough), I have never met an editor as sound and as sharp as you.

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<Tim> Like the notorious "ocelot," well spotted!

Interestingly, Puget Sound is the last remaining refuge of the equally notorious "Cormador Bird," the only avian on earth capable of swallowing the notorious "Killer Whale" in one bite.

Here is the relevant science:

More science BIGFOOT NOW REAL confirmed by the FBI.

Check out these documents, in which the "men in black" explain how, at great personal risk, they captured the first Bigfoot hair sample and pronounced it BONA FIDE:

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