Joke from:http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/pag...

There, I converted a joke into binary with this site: http://nickciske.com/tools/binary.php

You can convert it back.

1)

Sokolov-Adams .5-.5 (although I wouldn't put 0-1 past Adams...Sokolov is really hitting his Corus stride now) Bacrot-Kamsky .5-.5
Van Wely-Leko .5-.5
Mamedyarov-Anand .5-.5
Tiviakov-Ivanchuk .5-.5
Topalov-Aronian .5-.5
Gelfand-Karjakin .5-.5

2)

<ARMENIA, Dec-14-05, Ruslan Ponomariov >:

I have to disagree with some of you and say that GM Levon Arahonyan is not just a world class classic player but also one of the best fast chess players I have ever witnessed... His rating is well above 3100 in blitz and that said, he has beated many greats including Kasparov. Don't you remember the tournament in Iceland? I won't say he is the best blitz mind in the history but seems to me he is better than many young stars at blitz.

...

<PinkPanther, Dec-14-05>:

<ARMENIA>
With all due respect, you're probably too biased to legitimately comment on the issue.

...

<ARMENIA, Dec-14-05>:

By the way, every now and then I'll be doing a little clean-up of "irrelevant" posts, so they don't take up too much space. Everybody, thanks for your understanding and I sincerely hope you won't take this the wrong way. I hope you will all keep making contributions in both senses in the future too. Thanks!

Ok, back to business:

<tpstar, Mar-26-05, Robert James Fischer >:

Iceland was in great decline, oh what a sad sad story/Needed a new leader to restore Her former glory/Where oh where was he?/Where could that man be?/We looked around/And then we found/A man for you and me

And
Now
It's

<Lawrence, Mar-16-04>:

Karpov gives himself an exclamation mark for 15.Bd4 and comments "A strong move." Both Fritz and Junior think it's a stinkeroo. Any opinions?

<drukenknight, Mar-16-04>:

Yeah, stop reading GM commentaries. They are designed to keep you down.

<Lawrence, Mar-16-04>:

Chess engines are notoriously poor at these pawn endings but......here goes. "Kasparov boobed with 67...Bg2, with 67...Bc8 the game would have gone on until the cows came home." That's exactly what Junior 8 told me. Can anybody disprove this?

<tamar, Mar-16-04>:

68 Nd6+ brings the cows home early.

<Lawrence, Mar-16-04>:

tamar, cows still grazing. 68.Nd6+ Kd5 eval +0.94 (J8)

<tamar, Mar-16-04>:

Lawrence, 69 Nxc8 while the cows are grazing, the goose is cooked.

<Lawrence, Mar-17-04>:

tamar, Junior gave me a good slap across the face and shouted into my half-deaf earlug "I said 67...Bc6, not 67...Bc8, you silly old fart!" "Yes but it was late at night and I was tired and I copied it down wrong." "No excuses you worthless old quasi-Alzheimer's twit, get on the blower and give tamar the right move immediately." Sorry about that. The little brat says he's got it figured out to 29 ply. So the move is 67...Bc6. What now?

<tamar, Mar-17-04>:

Man, it felt better to beat Junior 8 than
A Typo. Okay, new position. 67...Bc6
68 Kf4

<Lawrence, Mar-17-04>:

tamar, I'm sure you're going to beat the stuck-up little prig but he says the cows won't come home in the near future. Suggests both 68...Bd7 and 68...Kb3 as being +2.97 (1 hour search)which must be a win for White provided White doesn't make a mistake, right?

<tamar, Mar-17-04>:

Lawrence, I'm no Karpov, but it is pretty clear that White will win if he gets his K to c5. So... either 68...Bd7 69 Ke5 Bxf5 70 Kxf5 Kxd4 71 Kf6 Kd6 72 Kf7 Kd7 73 d5 Kd6 74 Ke8 or 68...Kb3 69 Ke5 Kxa3 70 Kd6 Be4 71 Ng3 Bf3 72 Kc5 accomplish the task for White. This is very hard for computers to see without plugging in the right initial idea.

<tamar, Mar-17-04>:

Sorry, I typed that first line too fast. After 68...Bd7 69 Ke5 Bxf5 70 Kxf5 Black can capture with 70...Kxd4 or try to get the opposition with 70...Kd5. Either way White can get the K to c5.

<Lawrence, Mar-17-04>:

Oh boy, think of all that fresh milk! And roast goose too.

<tamar, Mar-17-04>:

I'm just glad all the cows got home
safe ;-)

<Creator of Time, Mar-18-04>:

http://www.myspace.com/paulmorphy

"get much better at chess?: A guide by Wyote, who has gotten much better"

and

"Build the Ultimate Chess Library, from Beginner to Expert: A guide by Joel, Expert Chess Player and Chess Bppk Collector" (Poor Joel has clearly sacrificed basic spelling skills in order to succeed).

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege." (unknown)

"I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me." (unknown)

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." (Rami Belson)

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken." (unknown)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." (Thomas Edison)

"If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie." (unknown)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." (Oscar Wilde)

"Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap the mother-f***er upside the head." (unknown)

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car." (unknown)

"Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered...where the hell's my ceiling?" (unknown)

"There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions." (unknown)

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." (unknown)

"On the other hand, you have different fingers." (unknown)

"Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they are a mile away and barefoot." (unknown)

"Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught." (unknown)

"He who laughs last thinks slowest." (unknown)

"Take life with a grain of salt.....a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila." (unknown)

(acirce is being asked about his avatar, a guy in a suit with eyes, mouth, nose, etc missing)

acirce: I lost face.

(someone is asking what LOL means)

STEPPINWOLF get to steppin'! YOUR analysis is absurd. KOrchinoi got lucky and Tal just simply had a bad game!

...

<blingice, Jan-11-06>:

<morphstau> Play it out. It's fine. Tal lost to Korchnoi several times, and Korchnoi had the overall winning record. That isn't luck, and stop spewing ad hominems and stop posting your horrible outbursts.

...

<morpstau, Jan-12-06>:

<Hesam> If you will e-mail me, I will send you my annotations of this game ... on the following conditions.

# 1.) You cannot copy it, nor give it to anyone else. # 2.) You provide me some type of feedback. (Rate my annotations, comment on them, etc.) # 3.) You simply give me your word that you will not violate my copyright in any shape or form.