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offramp
Member since Aug-16-03 · Last seen Jan-08-26
Some chess books that I think are outstanding:

1. <Fundamental Chess Endgames>, by Müller & Lamprecht, reprinted 2020. 400pp+, £25.

2. <Secrets of Practical Chess>, by Dr Nunn. 256pp (the USUAL 256pp!, i.e. the usual 2^8). £20.

3. <Capablanca's Best Chess Endings>, Irving Chernev's best work. 300pp. £15.

4. <107 Great Chess Battles 1939-1945>, written by Alexander Alekhine, but edited by Edward Winter. 256pp, £15.

5 (a) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 1 (1942-1962)>, and - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 484pp.
(b) <Petrosian Year by Year Volume 2 (1963-1984)> - Karolyi & Gyozalyan, 516pp.
They are £34 each. I bought one, then a few months later, the other volume.
They are available in Kindle format!

6. <The Queen's Gambit Accepted: A Sharp and Sound Response to 1. d4> by Chris Ward.
Ward wrote a superb book about the QGD, many years ago. I think this is useful for a book about the QGA. A total antidote to 1. d4, 2. c4.

And now some total clinkers. NOT those well-known garbage chess books.

The following are really bad chess books.

1. <Capablanca: A Compendium of Games, Notes, Articles, Correspondence, Illustrations and Other Rare Archival Materials on the Cuban Chess Genius Jose Raul Capablanca, 1888-1942> by Edward Winter. 360pp. c. £35. The title is the best thing.

2. <Larsen: Move by Move> - Cyrus Lakdawala
Paperback, 488pp.

3. <Emanuel Lasker Volumes 1, 2 & 3 - Forster, Negele & Tischbierek>. £55 each.
This book is unbelievably boring and tedious. Just look through it, then forget about it.
AT THIS SAME TIME a totally superb book has just come out: <Emanuel Lasker All Games Volume 1 & 2: 1889-1940 (2 books)>, £55 for two books:
Volume 1 covers the time Lasker became World Champion and played matches against Steinitz (twice for the World Championship), Bird and Blackburne amongst others. He also took part several famous tournaments including Hastings 1895, St Petersburg 1895-96 and Nuremberg 1896.

Volume 2 covers the time Lasker played matches against Marshall, Tarrasch, Janowski, Schlechter and Capablanca for the World Championship. He also took part several famous tournaments including St Petersburg 1914, New York 1924, Moscow 1935 & 1936 and Nottingham 1936.

Hardbacks, 388 and 342 pages, Russian Chess House. A real bargain.

4. <Pal Benko : My Life, Games and Compositions>, £140. Who is the most famous chess player out of Benko and Fischer? Who published the most plush, most opulent book? Benko.

.....
Here are another 7 books:

<He received a letter from his bookseller, informing him that only seven copies had been sold, and concluding with a polite request for the balance.
Scythrop <[SKI-throp]> did not despair. <Seven copies,> he thought, <have been sold. Seven is a mystical number, and the omen is good. Let me find the seven purchasers of my seven copies, and they shall be the seven golden candlesticks with which I will illuminate the world.>.>

>> Click here to see offramp's game collections.

Chessgames.com Full Member
   Current net-worth: 1,436 chessbucks
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   offramp has kibitzed 25148 times to chessgames   [more...]
   Jan-07-26 K Piorun vs I Gorshtein, 2025 (replies)
 
offramp: White played the opening in an old-fashioned style. When I mean "old-fashioned" I mean "about a 1,000 years old". There is a book on this opening by <Al-Adli> written in c. 890BC. [DIAGRAM] This is about 10 moves later. [DIAGRAM] Time for a bit of a <zhuzh> in your ...
 
   Jan-06-26 Indjic vs J Vakhidov, 2025
 
offramp: White was in a tight spot. [DIAGRAM] 19. f3!+-
 
   Jan-06-26 Gledura vs A Suleymanli, 2025
 
offramp: We all know this position. 16. Qe2. [DIAGRAM] The gun is cocked! We know what to do. Tarrasch knew, Lasker knew. Bust open the centre and give up two ♝ ♝! The trouble is that we are in the twentieth century. ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ After some developing, White ...
 
   Jan-06-26 Bluebaum vs L Livaic, 2025
 
offramp: W: 2687, B: 2551. These are big ratings! 20...Nd5. [DIAGRAM] The ♞ at d5 looks powerful. It looks that it is going to control the whole of the centre. 21. Rxd5! Black is in immediate danger. 21...Bd5 22. Bg5! [DIAGRAM] 22...e5 23. Nxe5. That is really annoying...You ...
 
   Jan-06-26 M Boyer vs V Ivic, 2025
 
offramp: An interesting ending. I bet you won't guess what happens. 37. Kh4. [DIAGRAM] I think Mahel Boyer was hoping for a checkmate, with Kg5, Raa8+. However, after 37. Kh4 Black <could> have played the devastating .... 37...g5+!!-+ [DIAGRAM] In the game there is the same ...
 
   Jan-06-26 Teyss chessforum
 
offramp: Dear Teyss, I really liked that game and gave a few notes. Poor old White! I like to use https://emojidb.org/ that has loads of emojis and it's an <.org> site. It also offers strange combinations. Another very useful site is here: https://www.piliapp.com/ The ...
 
   Jan-06-26 S Sulskis vs B Hagner, 2025
 
offramp: <THE STARS WERE 𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏> Here is a game that you'll really enjoy. You'll like it. Not a 𝙡𝙤𝙩, but you'll like it. W: 2475, B: 2451. That's pretty close - and (BTW) this game was <not> ruined by time trouble: neither player got into time trouble. The
 
   Jan-06-26 chessgames.com chessforum (replies)
 
offramp: Thank you.
 
   Jan-06-26 Kramnik vs Short, 1995 (replies)
 
offramp: <Kramnik vs Short, 1995. YOU ARE CREATING A PUN FOR A KRAMNIK GAME. Your score: 44 (par = 32)> Offramp
 
   Jan-05-26 offramp chessforum
 
offramp: Johansen, thank God, did not know quite all, even though he saw the city and the Thing, but I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars which dream beneath ...
 
(replies) indicates a reply to the comment.

Ye Olde Offrampe Predicktions

Kibitzer's Corner
< Earlier Kibitzing  · PAGE 25 OF 86 ·  Later Kibitzing>
May-22-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I had a good idea for a very short horror story which I shall now proceed to relate unto you. Two one-legged guys are talking. man A tells how he lost his leg. Every few weeks Man A suffered from agonising pain in his lower right leg. Doctors were useless and so were quacks. One day the pain was so bad that he paid a guy to cut off the limb. To his horror he developed phantom limb syndrome and the pain in his leg was even worse than before. The other unidexter yells at him: "You idiot! You should have had it cut off when it didn't hurt, like I did!"
May-24-17  thegoodanarchist: I don't know what to say in reply to that one.
May-25-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I do some things here at chessgames.com just for my own amusement, but I have decided to share the following one because I thought it was very funny.

If you look at P Littlewood vs D Norwood, 1985, which is today's GoTD, have a look at the games collections at the bottom of the page.

Look for the title <OUR DRESSES WILL GET FILTHY>. It is from my Game Collection: Games That FredTheBear likes.

I noticed that User: fredthebear tends to go a bit manic with some games. Have a look at the bottom of A Muzychuk vs Zhao Xue, 2016 for example.

So I made a collection of his favourite games, but with my own titles.

May-26-17  thegoodanarchist: <f you look at P Littlewood vs D Norwood, 1985, which is today's GoTD, have a look at the games collections at the bottom of the page.

Look for the title <OUR DRESSES WILL GET FILTHY>. It is from my Game Collection: Games That FredTheBear likes.>

While I was attempting to comply with these instructions, my computer froze, and the screen went gray from the top down. Then up popped a window with instructions in 5 different languages.

One of the languages was familiar to me. It said that I needed to restart my computer. It also helpfully instructed me how to do so (hold down the power button).

I will no longer look for the title <OUR DRESSES WILL GET FILTHY>. I have learned my lesson.

May-26-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: As I said at O Ulvestad vs G Holloway, 1952 (kibitz #31), Restart your computer, press F8, then type in "C:/FORMAT".

Answer yo! to everything and your changes will be in effect.

It never fails.

May-26-17  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: ...

Answer yo! to everything and your changes will be in effect.

It never fails.>

I am thinking that I might try that in real life.

If I answer "yo!" to everything, do you think Japanese girls will have sex with me?

May-27-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  moronovich: <If I answer "yo!" to everything, do you think Japanese girls will have sex with me?>

If you can perform like a yo yo,she might want you again ;)

And again.

May-29-17  thegoodanarchist: L Day vs J Houska, 2005 (kibitz #12)

Is this the correct usage of "odds bodkins"? If anyone knows for sure, it will be <offramp>

May-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Yes indeed. You are correct.

It is a euphemism for God's Bodkins, meaning the little bodies of God.

I don't know what that means, though.

May-29-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: BTW the biblical ones are really funny, though they have to be tidied up a bit. I have nothing against the Bible, but the random paragraphs seem as good as the proper ones.
May-30-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Today's GoTD is Larry Evans vs Benko, 1975 and it gave me the idea of this position as the end of a study or perhaps a problem. There could be any black piece on c7.


click for larger view

Jun-01-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Hoorah! Extended my membership today of this wonderful chess site. Three more years!

For all its quips and quiddities it is the best site for any chess lover on the internet. I only wish there were more Live Games.

Jun-01-17  technical draw: Congratulations, <offramp>. You're one of the old timers. Glad to see you at least for 3 more years. I love your comments too.
Jun-02-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Thank you, User: technical draw.

We have been here a long long time. We were the Beautiful People before the Beautiful People turned up!

Jun-02-17  technical draw: Right <offramp>. We were cool when being cool was cool.
Jun-03-17  thegoodanarchist: Welcome back, <offramp>!

It's like you never left...

Jun-04-17  WinKing: Hi offramp,

Less than 2 days till Norway Chess!

Countdown to Norway...

https://www.timeanddate.com/countdo...

Altibox Norway Chess 2017

♘Altibox♘Norway Chess 2017♗Altibox♗

This tournament will run from Jun. 6th thru Jun. 16th 2017. (9 Rounds)

Participants include Anand, Aronian, Carlsen, Caruana, Giri, Karjakin, Kramnik, Nakamura, So & Vachier-Lagrave

Average rating: 2797.05 - Category: XXII

*****
*****

<<> Altibox Norway Chess 2017 <>>

http://norwaychess.no/en

< 3 Prediction Contests: (Win virtual medals - Gold, Silver & Bronze) >

*** User: lostemperor - Predict the order the players will finish. Run & hosted by <lostemperor>. (3 categories to medal in) ***

**User: Golden Executive - Predict the result 1-0, 1/2, or 0-1. Run & hosted by <Golden Executive>. (3 categories to medal in)

This year will be the 11th Anniversary for this contest! (from 2007 to 2017 - 11 years running)**

*User: OhioChessFan - Predict the result 1-0, 1/2, or 0-1 & the number of moves. (4 categories to medal in). This contest is run by <chessmoron> & hosted by <OhioChessFan>.*

*****
*****

Also, don't forget about <chessgames> ChessBookie game for this event. He can't wait to take some or all of your chessbucks. ;)

ChessBookie Game

Don't miss out on the fun for this Super Event!!!

Jun-09-17  morfishine: Excellent <offramp> to hear your re-up, you are my favorite poster, though I enjoy many posters. I am trying to use your example to move away from the dour complainer, back towards the simply sarcastic

Wish me Luck!

Best always, morf

*****

Jun-10-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: <Morfishine>, thanks!

The future lies in unwarranted, withering sarcasm, preferably of the type that leaves the unfortunate recipient baffled and open-mouthed: "Does he mean that seriously or not??!?" LOL!

Jun-10-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: I suppose I am one of the few people still alive who spell Détroit with the accent.
Jun-17-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: In 1917 Edgar Wallace wrote a book called Kate Plus 10. Filming it was no problem, but naling the film was very hard.

Brazil O Triângulo Mortal,
Canada (English title) The Trygon Factor,
Denmark Død mand sladrer ikke,
Spain El templo del hampa,
Finland Edgar Wallace: Valkoisen nunnan arvoitus, Finland Kolmiokierre,
Finland (video title) Valkoisen nunnan salaisuus, France (video title) La planque,
France (poster title) Le Signe Du Trigone,
France Le signe du Trigorne,
UK (video title) Factor One,
Greece To recital tou eglimatos,
Hungary A fehér apácák titka,
Italy La grande sfida a Scotland Yard,
Japan Dai gôtô-dan,
Mexico Trígono de muerte,
Portugal Sob o Signo da Suspeita,
Romania Secretul calugaritelor in alb,
Sweden Det stumma vittnet,
West Germany Das Geheimnis der weißen Nonne,
Yugoslavia (Serbian title) (literal title) Tajna bele opatice.

Jun-18-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: Pakistan v Indian at the Oval, London. I KNOW this is going to be a great match. I very much hope India wins, but I have this feeling that THIS time Pakistan will win.
Jun-18-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: India need to score 339 to win. That is a huge score, but batting conditions are perfect and I am hoping they can do it.
Jun-18-17  thegoodanarchist: <offramp: India need to score 339 to win. That is a huge score, but batting conditions are perfect and I am hoping they can do it.>

I've been following your coverage of the match here in your forum.

Any update?

Jun-18-17
Premium Chessgames Member
  offramp: India have slumped to a pretty disastrous 80-6 off 18 overs. very poor! It would madness to think of anything other than a Pakistan win now!
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