< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 32 OF 32 ·
|Aug-22-16|| ||AylerKupp: <<Sally Simpson> j'adoube>|
Great, just great. Too bad that non-chessplayers would not get it.
|Aug-22-16|| ||Sally Simpson: Hi Aylerkupp,
There is a lot non-chessplayers don't get.
I feel sorry for them.
|Aug-23-16|| ||HeMateMe: I've known for years that chess players don't get any.|
|Aug-23-16|| ||activechess55: For years, I haven't got chessplayers as well as non chessplayers jokes. I guess, it has something to do with manufacturing defect!|
|Aug-23-16|| ||tuttifrutty: <Absentee: <activechess55: the ability to concentrate on a single topic for a prolonged period, is one of the prerequisites of success.>|
Who would have thought?>
I did and very successful to my goals.... which is...
Hmmmm....I keep it to myself.
|Aug-23-16|| ||activechess55: <tuttifrutty> In this season, all chess fans've to keep it to themselves anyway. Because chess Olympiads are preceded by a long drought of chess events. And we've nothing to amuse ourselves with.|
|Aug-24-16|| ||BOSTER: < J'adoube>.
I don't think that the seagul was so naive to peck the player before the move was made.
Only seduction begins with a touch.
|Aug-24-16|| ||Sally Simpson: Two chess players started arguing during a tournament game. (the seagull flew away)|
One said: 'You are the biggest fool in the room.'
The other: replied: 'No you are the biggest fool in room.'
An arbiter appears and says: "Have you two forgotten I'm here."
An adult Seagull and a junior Seagull are perched on the roof of a chess club.
The adults seagull says: "There is one son, a Caro Kann player, you can tell by the miserable expression, the out of date clothes and shuffling walk...go get him."
The junior Seagull flies off and lands on the chess players head. The chess player carries on walking and after about 30 seconds the seagull flies back to it's parent.
"No." says the adult seagull, 'Watch.'
The adults seagull dive bombs the Caro Kann player and splats him right on his bald spot with Seagull poo."
'Sorry dad' says junior, 'I thought you said sit on his head.'
|Aug-24-16|| ||HeMateMe: You'll be selling this jokebook on Amazon?|
|Aug-25-16|| ||Sokrates: <HeMateMe: You'll be selling this jokebook on Amazon?> LOL. Sadly, more funny than the jokes. Sorry, Geoff.|
|Aug-25-16|| ||not not: u do miss my giri jokes dont u?|
|Aug-25-16|| ||rogge: ...not...|
|Aug-25-16|| ||Sally Simpson: Hi HeMateMe.
It will go on E-Bay.
There must be a Seagull = E-bay gull (Bagel) joke in there somewhere.
A chess player was totally skint but he wanted the Kasparov 'My Predecessor.' so he placed a whole of load of non-chess books on a table and trained a seagull to pick one up and bring it to him.
When the seagull brought him a book he gave the seagull a peanut.
However should the seagull bring him a book with a red cover he gave it a fish.
This went on for a week then the lad took the seagull to a chess congress and waited behind a wall.
Soon the books started arriving.
Opening books, Middle Game books, End Game books...the lad gave him a peanut for each one but no Kasparov Predecessor books.
After 20 trips the lad left in disgust and gave the seagull to a friend.
A few weeks later he met his friend.
"How you getting on with seagull?"
"Great. Funny thing though, He loves peanuts.....seems to hate fish."
(I'll get my coat.)
|Aug-27-16|| ||Sokrates: <not not: u do miss my giri jokes dont u?>|
No no not not.
|Aug-28-16|| ||morfishine: <not not> There's nothing like a good Giri joke...and you posted nothing like a good Giri joke...|
|Aug-28-16|| ||activechess55: A Giri joke's like that dialogue from hollywood movies: 'It ain't over till it's over!'|
|Aug-28-16|| ||moronovich: The chance for a good Giri joke ?
|Aug-28-16|| ||rogge: The dull draws are more entertaining than 95 % of the so-called jokes.|
|Aug-28-16|| ||activechess55: As the HALF-yearly anniversary of candidates DRAWS closer, AG's decided to rekindle those fond memories with a new book, |
'Others might prefer CHECKMATE, but I always yearn STALEMATE!'
|Aug-28-16|| ||not not: For far too long chess theoreticians regrettably divided chess masters into either positional or tactical thinkers,
the first two luminaries being Jose Raul Capablanca (1888-1942) and Alexander Aleksandrovich Alekhine (1892-1946); the former famously excelled in
gradual improvements in order to achieve an advantageous position (without much bravado that carries unnecessary risk),
whilst the latter repeteadly conducted his attacking schemes in sacrificial way (throwing proverbial sink at
the enemy king). Some theoreticians, not satisfied with dualistic conception, far too soon fell under spell of hypermodern
strategies validated by games of Richard Reti (1889-1929);
some hurriedly adhered to superflous ideas of profilaxis introduced by Aron Isayevich Nimzowitsch (1886-1935),
the motherly father of "blockade and restrain" philosophy.|
Let the rigorous and rigid schools of chess thought be gone for good, fellow readers, since I am proud and bound to announce the birth
of universal chess methodology that can only be compared to century changing and defining laws of monsieur Overgod
(who is the most influential modern matemathician and without inspiration of whom my research would have never been refined).
All concealed chess precepts are laid bare here, in my monumental book that is available online for as little as twenty dollars.
Thus, for the price of jumper cables, one can attain ultimate chess knowledge!"
Anish Giri (in preface to his newest book "Shlechter, Leko, Kramnik and I -
The story of three musketeers and d'Artagnan of chess")
|Aug-28-16|| ||Hodor: <The chance for a good Giri joke?> Hold the draw! Hold the draw!|
|Sep-01-16|| ||Minitray: Congrats to Wesley.|
|Sep-05-16|| ||ambongtumbong: napakasakit Kuya Eddie.. why oh why|
|Sep-15-16|| ||cro777: Are super-tournaments in crisis?
Why the Sinquefield Cup didn't spark the worldwide interest that a chess event of such a caliber should?
GM Emil Sutovsky, President of the Association of Chess Professionals, about the causes of the problem and suggested solutions:
|Sep-15-16|| ||perfidious: Sutovsky, from the link provided above by <cro777>:|
<....Jokes aside, turn that chess engine off, and start enjoying the good old game of chess!>
I'll sign that.
< Earlier Kibitzing · PAGE 32 OF 32 ·